Is it Cubicle Envy, Already?

It’s been almost four weeks since I stepped into my cubicle and plopped into my work chair, the chair I sat in for nearly three years. I was recently laid-off, somewhat unexpectedly, from a position that I held for that time period. I’ve been laid off before, it seems to be a trend in the tech world and each one has felt different. This time I have mixed emotions. Part of me is happy that it happened, after-all I was secretly wishing it – since working was obviously the reason why I haven’t been able to follow my real passions and pursue those dreams I talked about so much during the Clean Start Challenge.

But it also makes me sad and fearful. Now I’m left with no excuses and that scares me. It was so much easier to blame work for not being able to open that second store, or go to that really amazing blogging event. It was work that was keeping me from being the successful entrepreneur I dreamed about. It was work that caused the chaotic nature of our daily life from getting the kids ready for school, work, dinner time, to homework, everything was rushed and quality time that was practically non-existent.

But now I actually have TIME to do what I want to do, to organize the household, to cook dinner and to work on MY business. But I’m having a really hard time doing that. All of the sudden my mind is filled with doubt, do I want to go back into design, how can I incorporate photography, and am I doing what will really make me happy? And if I don’t find that happiness in working for myself what do I do then?

Even though I’m filled with doubt now, I’m sure things will turn around. I’m pretty sure I know what will make me happy; I just have to muster up the courage and follow through.

Do I have cubicle envy? Not yet. Will I ever? Probably – I’ve been working for someone else all my life – I don’t really know another way. But right now I’m going to take it a day at time and really concentrate on doing things that make ME happy. Because at the end of the day I would rather be Happy!

Did you recently make the transition from working mom to entrepreneur? Or are you an entrepreneur who wishes to go back to work? Please share your thoughts.