The Year My Husband Was a Stay at Home Dad
My freelance consulting business was growing to the point where I was going to have to hire someone to help me.
I was working with a few public relations firms on business development and strategy but longed to see the projects to fruition after they were won.
So I made the decision that moms around the world make everyday.
The summer of 2009 I decided to return to the corporate world.
And once that wheel was set in motion there was no turning back. Within a few weeks, with an offer in hand and relocation across country in place, my husband resigned and I went shopping for a new business casual wardrobe.
When we arrived in Northern California we thought perhaps my husband might find another job as a print production manager. However, we soon learned that the relatively healthy job market we enjoyed in the DC-Metro area was not the job market we would find in Sacramento. So, in essence, we had switched roles within a few short months.
All of a sudden, I was the sole breadwinner and my husband was the stay at home spouse.
When I was freelancing, I would get so caught up in my work during the day that by the time my husband got home from work nothing in the way of housework or meal preparation would be done.
However, now when I was returning from a long day of work at the office, quite the opposite happened with my husband at the helm of our home management.
Laundry was done, dishwasher loaded, a healthy and delicious dinner prepared, and the house was clean.
Not only that, but that was done in addition to shuttling my son back and forth to preschool, walking and feeding the dog, and...wait for it...on most days he was able to fit in a mountain bike ride as well.
My job had me traveling a lot, too. In fact, in the first six months of this particular job, I logged over 65,000 miles in the first six months. My husband held down the fort like a champ while I was away. He kissed boo boos, read bedtime stories, and woke up in the middle of the night to my son’s occasional bad dreams.
I’ll be honest. I was a little bit resentful at first. *I’m* the one who’s supposed to be able to do it all with grace. I’m the mom after all! The resentfulness melted away however when I realized that the father he had become was the one I had envisioned when were dating. I had seen the way he was so caring about his family and so thoughtful when it came to his friends. In other words, the very reasons I had been so attracted to him were what I was starting envy...I knew right then, I had to get over myself. And fast.
After a year, I transferred within the company back to our hometown to work in the DC office. And my husband returned to work, he missed working and I totally understood that. Now we share parenting duties pretty 50/50 but I’ll confess that my husband still picks up some of my slack when it comes to the rest of the household.
So what did I learn? That I am one heck of a lucky woman to have a husband that not only pitches in when it comes to parenting and our home, but supports me in my career decisions.