Top 5 Style Faux Pas
I love my mother to bits and pieces. She's an awesome woman and has taught me a ton about life, family, relationships, and love. She gave me every bit of guidance that I could have ever needed (and probably more than I typically wanted) and she's still the first person I call when I need help with something.
While my mom always has my back, she does not always agree with my every move. Especially when it comes to clothes. Or shoes. Or handbags. Or makeup.
My mother has never hesitated to tell me when she doesn't like something I have on. To this day you will notice that I don't wear a lot of strapless or spaghetti straps (apparently I don't have the shoulders for it) and am consistently pulling at low-cut necklines so that there is no inappropriate, ahem, exposure. As a matter of fact, I'm almost paranoid about those two things now because they have been drilled into my head for 28 years.
When I arrived at my own baby shower in a dress that I had proudly purchased just for that occasion, my mother wrinkled her nose and said "you're wearing that?" Of course, I hopped on the defensive and said "Yes, mother, I am. What is wrong with THIS?" That's her cue to drop it, unwrinkle her nose and go "Nothing. Nothing. You look lovely." We both know she is lying, but we have learned to deal with this dynamic - it works for us.
Perhaps this is why I ended up writing about fashion. I am highly critical, though my southern upbringing has taught me to mask it well. However, get to know me a bit better and I will tell you exactly what I think about your style - the good, the bad, and the ugly. But, you don't have to know me to get a peek into my head - I'll drop the sweet southern girl exterior for a moment and tell you exactly what is going through that noggin of mine. Some of this may hurt your feelings - don't say I didn't warn you.
1. All-In-One-Jumpers. Don't do it. If you're under the age of 5, it's fine. If you're older than that - just say no. It makes me twitch just to look at you, and I have to resist the urge to ask you if you've been shopping at Babies R Us again as I pass by. I don't care how thin you are, how cute you are, these are just not ok. Just because they're in style does not make it acceptable.
2. Giant Necklaces. I like 'em. Statement pieces are ok. What is not ok is you wearing the same giant necklace as a compliment to every outfit that you own. When I look at your Facebook pictures I get tired of seeing it. Get 5 or 6 different necklaces, and don't wear them every single day, please. Honestly, you look ridiculous.
3. Roots. If you want to change your hair color, fine. I have no problem with it - I color my own hair and love to experiment. But please, for the love of God, decide what color your hair is going to be. For the record, blonde with dark roots is not a "color". It is fine if you have to go an extra week or two and they grow out a bit, but try to keep up with your extreme color, or choose a different one. Your head just looks confused - and so am I.
4. Gym Clothes as Street Clothes. I believe I've addressed this before, but for heaven's sake - bring a change of clothes to the gym. Don't you need to shower after that workout, anyway? When I see women out and about in their yoga pants and workout tops, I just feel like they are trying to show the world that they know what an elliptical machine is. It's like when you were in college, and every photo that you took you made sure that your beer can (or for the more sophisticated set, wine glass) was in the picture with you. Everyone can see that you were drinking, er, working out, honey. Now please, find yourself some jeans and a cute top.
5. Leggings as Pants. They aren't pants. Sorry. Even a size negative zero (yes, I'm aware that is not an actual size - I'm using it for emphasis) woman can't pull this off - and neither than you. Leggings go under dresses or longer shirts. That is all. Please promise me that you won't do this or we can never be friends. Cover your backside, sweetie - the whole world thanks you.