Aurelius, Kyd, Apple, Zuma. Whatever Happened to Normal Baby Names?
Whatever happened to normal baby names? I'm not talking about sticking to names that are typical European names or names taken from the Bible. I'm making a public service announcement for people to stop giving their kids names that are either words already assigned to an object (Apple) or a color (Blue), or names that are just a bunch of vowels and consonants put together by parents (Aurelius and Zuma) to make themselves seem cool.
For some parents, naming a child is what getting a tattoo was in your twenties. "Hey, look at this Chinese symbol I got permanently drawn on my back. I was told it means 'strength of heart.' I don't really know because I'm not Chinese. Aren't I cool?"
Now those people are having kids. "My kid's name is Wolf. Aren't I cool?"
Um, no. No you're not. In fact, I would say the harder you try, the less cool you are. And do these parents give any thought to how their child's name will be perceived when he or she grows up and enters the work world?
In the book "Freakonomics" by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner, the authors studied the effects of names on the outcome of children's lives. They found a direct correlation between names and how successful children become. What if Apple wants to be a Supreme Court Justice? Do you think she'll be taken seriously?
When Téa Leoni and David Duchovny named their kid "Kyd," I'll bet they had a good laugh. "Aren't we funny? Aren't we clever?" Um, no. No, you're not. Why don't you go down to City Hall and change YOUR name to "Kyd" if you like it so much? Call yourself "Purple" or "Banana" or "Pencil," for all I care. But your child is depending on you for a name that has weight and meaning and will be respected by his or her peer group. So how about, just this once, not making this all about you?
Tune in to the premiere of "Pretty Wicked Moms" on Tuesday, June 4 at 10.9c and find out what the members of a Southern mommy clique have named their kids. Watch a sneak peek here >>