Giuliana Rancic Putting Husband Before Baby
E! host Giuliana Rancic recently made headlines when she declared that she puts her marriage first and her baby second.
"We're husband and wife, but we're also best friends, and it's funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second," Rancic told US Weekly. "That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage."
You know what, I sort of see her point. But why does anyone have to be first or second in a family?
I remember having my first baby and I was so in love with my little girl that I don't think I could remember my husband's name for the first six months. He was just some guy who got up with the baby when I couldn't see straight anymore. But eventually I wanted to reemerge into the adult world. And hey, look at that - I'm already sharing my bedroom with a very handsome guy! I'm going to see if he's free on Friday night.
It's always a struggle to make sure these young children don't consume us. By the end of the day, I feel like my four children have sucked every last bit of energy out of me. After I've yelled, "Go to bed!" 14 times, I just want to just lie down in a candy induced coma and watch my favorite sitcoms - not spend time bonding, laughing and reconnecting with my husband. As much as I love him. And I do.
I'm guessing it's probably a bit easier for someone like Giuliana Rancic to focus on her marriage. With her job, I can only assume she has quite a bit of paid help. And having support like that makes it much easier to have energy and time for your spouse. The rest of us are usually using a tag team approach. You watch the kids while I go for a run. Now I'll watch the kids while you go to the grocery store. It doesn't make for a lot of together time.
But I do agree with Rancic that it is vital to focus on your marriage. Because without a strong marriage, your family disintegrates. Even if you can't afford a vacation together, figure out a way to have date nights. Hire a babysitter, ask a family member or beg a friend to watch your kids.
Because something magical can happen when you go out with your husband. You brush your hair. You put on lip gloss. You relax. You order something off a menu without anyone interrupting you. You talk. You laugh at his jokes. Suddenly you remember why you are with this guy in the first place, because it certainly isn't for his laundry folding skills.
Back in 2009, writer Ayelet Waldman caused quite a stir when she openly admitted that she loved her husband more than her children. I don't think Rancic's comments are even in the same ballpark but there is a tinge of similarity.
I don't want to put my kids first. Or my husband first. I want to put my family first. And that means making time for my husband as well as focusing on the needs of my children. It's a delicate balance that constantly needs correcting. Do I always get the balance right? No. Will I keep trying? Definitely.