If Heidi Klum and Her 'Schatzi' Seal Couldn't Make It Work , What Hope Is There For The Rest of Us?
Us regular married folk, the ones who've been in the trenches for 13 years (*raises hand*) and who will tell any newlywed couple that marriage is a marathon and not a sprint, are still sort of reeling at the recent onslaught of celeb couples who, although they've logged their fair share of years in the marriage hood and appeared to be in it for the long haul, are abruptly calling it quits. Many of us married folk were convinced these couples would live happily ever after with their betrothed and were proof that if two people really loved each other their union could defy the odds.
For those of you who pay little to no attention to these celebrity ROCKSTAR marriages- i.e. ones that have lasted longer than a Brittany Spears or Kim Kardashian fiascos-- here are just a few celebrity couples whose long standing unions are currently either in the midst of separation or divorce proceedings.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver-the terminator and the Kennedy clan journalist seemed invincible as a team but apparently Arnold's infidelity with the family's housekeeper which produced an heir all unbeknownst to Maria was just too much for their marriage to bear.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith- the couple who shouted from every rooftop, magazine cover and TV interview just how hot their married sex life was, seems to be calling it quits.
Jonny Depp and Vanessa Paradis the quiet reserved couple who made their home in Europe, away from the glare of Hollywood, apparently were not immune to relationship discord.
And now the latest casualty in the celebrity marriages we were convinced would last but has seemed to succumb to divorce; Heidi Klum and Seal.
Unfortunately for married couples, defying the odds in Hollywood is gravely different than for those in non-Hollywood life. I know what you're thinking- oh those poor Hollywood couples dripping in diamonds and cash, with homes in several countries and a gaggle of nannies and entourages following them and tending to their broods. It must be so hard to keep a marriage afloat under those "excruciatingly difficult circumstances". And here is my retort; having all that money, help and luxury cannot mask or take the place of a relationship. It can't enhance the quality of a marriage- it can only alleviate the added financial burdens us regular married folk face, like which bill to pay this month (do we need heat or cable?!). So while their finances may be squared away- there's still the wok of the marriage to be tended to; marriage is like a garden, if you don't water it ever day, it will wilt and die. It's that simple. If you and your spouse are not communicating, physically seeing each other, spending quality time with one another and your kids- well all the diamonds you throw at one another will not strengthen your relationship (I know sparkly things are nice, but how many diamond bracelets can a girl really wear, or need?).
These celeb high powered couples also live under a microscope few of us could tolerate- where every move, action and picture snapped of us is scrutinized, and of course this can lead to misunderstandings and even INFIDELITY. How many of us regular married folk can say we could cope under the strain of so many eyes watching and taking the temperature of our relationship? Or seeing our spouse photographed- perhaps innocently in the arms of another and not feel a twinge of jealousy? When you strip away the diamonds and money, celebrity couples are just like us, they are not immune to feelings of insecurity, lust and every other emotion a married couple faces. Except-- in the case of a celebrity, when you are two actors filming in different locations, having not seen your spouse for weeks or days on end, and feeling lonely and insecure-- well maybe it's a little easier to stray outside your marriage. And of course, in the case of celebrities, having two strong alpha egos in one house is hard enough, but in a marriage it is nearly impossible to sustain all alpha all of the time. And if that alpha in the marriage is the female, well it takes a VERY strong male to accept his non-alpha role, and celebrities are not usually known for their humility.
Yet Heidi and Seal seemed above all this. When I interviewed her on my blog several months ago she appeared to be honest about the stresses of family life, juggling it all and well- maybe this rock star, jet set life finally wore her and Seal down, maybe they stopped talking, maybe they weren't evenly handling the responsibilities of parenting their four kids. Maybe they just stopped watering their marriage.
But before you think I am all maudlin about the viability of celeb marriages-- here are a few who have and continue to stand the test of time. We're rooting for these couples -
Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson (married 24 years)
Jeff Bridges and Susan Bridges (married 35 years)
Peter Facinelli and Jenny Garth ( Married 11 years)
But let's get real celeb or not marriage is hard, you need to put in the work and if you don't your marriage simply can't survive.