I'm a comedian and mom.  I live with my husband, children and two very challenging Bassett hounds.  I like running, live music and spending time with friends. I have large pores on the side of my nose that are startling in a magnifying mirror.  I make macaroni and cheese for dinner far too often. I don't watch live tv because fast forwarding through commercials gets me drunk on power.  I'm in love with my minivan. 

 

Q:  How many children do you have?
A:Three. I have an eight year-old son and daughter (twins) and an 11 month-old foster son.

 

Q:  Where do you live?
A:The Garden State.  I’m a Jersey girl, born and raised.

 

Q: What’s your astrological sign? 
A:  Libra, with Sag Rising, a Taurus Moon and an Aries North Node.  It's a challenge, but I'm rising to it.

 

Q: If your life was made into a Lifetime Movie, what would it be called?
A:  Mother, May I Sleep with...out being wakened by a child or a dog for just one night?  Is that too much to ask?

 

Q: What is one of your favorite quotes?
A:  "If your belly button's not an inny then I'm outty, now hop in my minivan let's get rowdy, c'mon." - Eminem

 

Q: What TV or movie character are you most like?
A: Dirty Harry

 

Q: If you could have dinner with three famous people (dead or alive), who would you invite?
A:  Man, this is a hard one.  My first thought was Milan Kundera, Jeanette Winterson and Friedrich Nietsche, but most writers are so shy, we'd all probably just sit there staring at each other.  So how about George Burns, Lucille Ball and Richard Pryor?  That would be fun.

 

Q: What is your biggest vice?
A: Chocolate croissants

 

Q: What makes you feel sexy?
A:Wearing a really fabulous outfit that I got for 90% off.

 

Q: What’s your most memorable ballsy moment?
A: I went to a writer-friend's going away party at a bar in TriBeCa last year.  I'm sitting at a table with seven brilliant, accomplished female writers and editors when this well-dressed guy walks over to our table and asks us who has the biggest [breasts].  I use brackets because that was not the word he used.  The word he used begins with a T.  I calmly told him we were not interested in what he had to say, and he should go back to his seat.  He walked away, but then came back a little while later with an even more vulgar remark.  I jumped up and shoved him hard.  Did I mention I'm over six feet tall in heels?  I shoe shop in the drag queen section of Nordstrom. Just when I was about pop my new fake gemstone cocktail ring into his misogynistic jaw, the bartender jumped out from behind the bar and threw the [jerk] out.  I use brackets because that is not the word I am thinking. The word I'm thinking begins with an A and ends with a hole.

 

Q: How do you celebrate life?
A: By seeing humor in both the dark and the light.