Eggs, No Sausage: 5 Reasons Why I'm Freezing My Eggs
Reason Number One: I am 37, which means my womb could be drying up!
If you pay attention to the news at all, you’ve heard it: the warning that every woman over 25 needs to panic about! The older you get, the fewer eggs you have, and the fewer eggs you have, the less chance you have of making babies.
As a ripe and ancient 37-year-old, there are a few things I don’t have that I’d really like to get before becoming a parent: more money, more space, and someone with whom to share the joy (blame). But say my lady organs shrivel up before I can get that stuff? Well if freeze my eggs now, I might be able buy myself some time.
But is this the best way to buy time? The answer is a firm ‘maybe!’
Reason Number Two: I have no babydaddy.
Parenting isn’t something I’m interested in doing alone. God bless the single moms out there. But if I’m going to do this, I want help. One of my mommy friends says that half the fun of having a child is seeing her husband’s face and personality in that child. (She has a really hot husband.) Right now, though, I’m single. Very single. I only have the ONE cat, but I go weeks at a time without shaving my legs. The idea of an exciting Friday night for me involves pajamas, my DVR, and ice cream.
Sometimes it occurs to me that I won’t ever meet any men by sitting on my couch and watching TV. But then I remember I have a whole carton of Ben & Jerry’s that needs eatin’. My primary method of birth control is laziness, followed by my personality (I tell gross jokes), followed by the fact that I really like to nap. I’m basically a panda, too lazy to breed. But I know I need a partner, not just a sperm donor. So this is the first step off the proverbial couch.
Reason Number Three: I need more time to cook.
Not to cook food, which I never do, but to cook myself. I need more time in the oven, because I’m still a little cold in the middle. If I’m in a restaurant where a toddler is acting up loudly, I think, “God, why doesn’t someone just smack that thing.” And then if I see someone actually smacking a toddler, I think, “God, what a terrible parent.” Actually, I hear that being judgy about other people’s parenting is part of the whole parenting gig. So maybe I’ve got that part down.
But it’s the other stuff. The ‘thinking of others instead of yourself.’ The ‘not sleeping until noon on Saturdays.’ The ‘teaching the concept of sharing when I would rather stab someone than share my dessert.’ I know that if I wait to become the best person I can be before I have kids, I’ll never have any. But the fact that I’m freezing my eggs at all means I’m actually, for the first time ever, open to the idea of parenthood. And I just need a little time to go from ‘open-minded’ to ‘willing to clean up shit all day.’ I don’t know how much time. But to paraphrase the Supreme Court definition of pornography, ‘I’ll know it when I see it.” And if I never see it, then I’ll know I wasn’t ready. But at least I had a backup plan in the freezer!