"The Bachelor"Finale: I Used To Work On The Show And I Was Blindsided
Watching the highly anticipated season finale of The Bachelorette reminded me of waiting for the premiere of the Sex and the City movie (the first one that is). Every woman I knew (and many men too... straight ones even... well, at least one or two) were DYING to see what would happen... I can remember sitting in the movie theater and women CHEERING and squealing when the previews started.
Though it's unlikely that women squeal when they see Chris Harrison or scenes from the next Bachelorette, I am certain that this season everyone was dying to know: Who would single mom Emily Maynard choose??? Jef with one F or Arie with an A.... for hotness.
Well... Allow me to take a moment to completely vomit my thoughts about the entire season and the finale right here and right now. If you were at my house with me during the finale, (and drinking wine and having ice cream with my girlfriend and I... and my poor boyfriend who we tried to rope in with little success), you would have been privy to some fun banter. But since having complete strangers over on a Sunday night would just be plain weird, I'm gonna download you here NOW.
SO.... My money, from day one, was on Arie. Tall, handsome, tender and head over heels for Emily, I think everyone in America thought it was him. Until... it wasn't.
Wait. Stop. Did I ruin it for you? Okay, then let me say this right now:
SPOILER ALERT: Stop reading if you don't already know this, but Emily chose Jef with one EFF.
Yes, Emily chose the "edgy" entrepreneur from Salt Lake City. Two things: One, not that I'm the world's leading expert on all things cool, but his crotch hugging skinny jeans and skinny ties hardly make him edgy. That's one. Number two, isn't she a little concerned that his parents didn't come to meet her for the "hometown" visit? He mentioned they were skeptical.... Instead, she met his siblings at their "ranch," (and by ranch I mean a 90 thousand acre compound which made it clear: Jef with one F is LOADED). But back to her choosing....
So clearly the fact that I produced reality TV for 10 years and actually worked on 2 seasons of "The Bachelor" meant nothing, because I was BLIND SIDED. When she sat down Chris Harrison and told him she was ready to pull the trigger and say goodbye to Arie and not even have one last date with him, I was SHOCKED. To make it worse, she met Arie for their date at some voodoo lady's house or something, he made a love potion, she shows up and dumps him in what appeared to be the most backwoods, dirty-ass locale in Bachelor history. All I could think was that poor Arie was going home not just with a broken heart, but Dengue Fever too.
He stayed composed. I don't know how, but he did. Maybe he knew that he is SO getting tapped as the next Bachelor... ???? I hope.... I pray. (While Sean was sweet, he's too hulk-like for me). Arie was as tender as he was handsome and their physical connection was electric.
At my "viewing party," we determined that maybe Emily felt conflicted about introducing both men to Ricki. That she could have chosen either guy (both good fits probably) but that she saw Jef with Ricki, he did great, and that sort of sealed the deal for her? I must confess... When he wrote that letter for her in Utah about how much he loves her, crunched nuts aside, he kind of won my heart too.
But no matter how much their love was evident, the bitter biatch in me, of course, couldn't control the commentary the ENTIRE time... Like during their final date or maybe it was at the "altar," when he told her she'll never have to feel lonely again, both my girlfriend and I piped up: "Oh, yeah... You will. You'll feel lonely again. Just wait."
And then of course when Emily lamented over the engagement... to say yes or not to say yes... and how awful it would be to be the girl who gets engaged 15 times. We (two ice cream eating divorcees) chimed in with: "Engaged?? Please. Get engaged. Who cares? Try being the girl that gets divorced a bunch of times. That's worse."
Finally, there was the moment that Jef did propose and Emily said yes. They kissed, same height and all... (This is a big issue for me) and next thing we see: little Ricki comes running out. She hugs Emily and then Jef says an awkward, "Hey, Ricki..." to which We (two wine drinking single moms) chime in with (a fake Southern accent): "Imma be your new daddy."
OH, we had such fun watching. And I'm NOT even entirely through the "After the Final Rose." I left off where Arie said that he left her his journal and wasn't quite over it. So sad.
But want to know what's going get ME over not seeing Arie and Emily make out ever again? Watching past cast members make out and fight on the equally peanut gallery friendly "Bachelor Pad." 'Tis the season to let my brain cells GO with one G.
Do you think Emily made the right decision? Do you think they'll last? Who was your favorite guy from this season?