December, not Thanksgiving, is for Holiday Cards
You know what I love about Thanksgiving? It's a small respite before dealing with all that ridiculous Christmas/Hanukkah insanity. (Oh and all that gratitude stuff too.) But then guess what showed up in my mailbox a full FOUR days before Thanksgiving?!
A Christmas card. In my house. While I'm still trying to figure out how to make kale salad and where to sit Aunt Louise on turkey day so that she doesn't play footsie with my brother-in-law again.
Sending out a card this early is a clear violation of the, "I vow to never send out holiday cards before Thanksgiving or else I will seriously piss off everyone I know by being too hyper-organized and showy."
So I'm fighting back. No, not by sending out my cards early. As if I could make that happen. Which reminds me, can you tell my four kids that I need a super cute photo of them that will wow all our friends and relatives? Or you know, a mediocre one that I can shove in envelopes before the new year.
Where was I? Oh right. Fighting back.
I'm retaliating by not looking at their cute kid on the card. No, I will not. I will not ooooh and awwww over their little offspring until every morsel of Thanksgiving pumpkin pie has been eaten, I have been forced to unbutton the top of my jeans and I have passed out on the couch in a food coma.
And then on Friday morning, I will take out their card and marvel over their daughter's heavenly chunky cheeks, rosy lips and sweet smile. But not a moment sooner.
That will show them!
Now, I did once get a holiday card over the summer. For real. With a Christmas tree in the background and everything. I guess the family was away over the holidays and then they couldn't find the right address and then it was June.
It was quite surprising but I appreciate a little "Peace on Earth" in June. I really do.
Those are my kind of people.