7 Days of Sex
Happy Valentine's Day To...Me!
As the head female of this household I hold a number of roles - including but not limited to grocery shopper, errand runner, appointment maker, meal preparer, birthday party planner, bath giver, bedtime story reader, laundry washer, home organizer, and classroom volunteer. This does not include the 5 hours a week that is spent shuttling kids to school, or the 2-3 hours I spend touching base with family each week letting them know that we are not only alive, but thriving. It also does not include the fact that I have a full time job.
Actually, I have a full-time job and two smaller, contract jobs. That makes things a little more stressful interesting. Don't get me wrong - I love every single role that I hold in this family and in my professional life. It's just that sometimes I wish that there was a little time left for me. Sometimes I feel that I'm so busy doing everything for everyone else that what I need gets left behind.
Anyone have a small violin that I can borrow?
Anyway, this year I made tentative plans to refocus on becoming a better mother in 2012. I'm happy to report that so far I'm doing pretty well. But as Valentine's Day approaches I realize that the best gift that I could ever receive would be the gift of my own focus - remembering to meet some of my needs -- and also some of my wants. As much as I love my family, I never want to resent them because I feel that I've put myself last. So this Valentine's Day I'm going for it - I'm giving myself permission to mix in a little selfishness with my selflessness.
Here's what I plan on doing:
Pamper myself. I'm a girly girl to the max. When I was a single woman and out on the prowl active on the dating scene a few years back, I somehow found time to whiten my teeth, exfoliate my skin, use purfiying masks on my face and watch the scale. But now I live in a house with the man that I did all of those things to "catch" so to speak, and those things seem to fall by the wayside. The thing that I'm realizing, however, is that I felt better about myself the other way - I wasn't doing those things only to attract a mate, I did them because when I did, I felt better about myself and my confidence level was higher. A confident woman is a sexy woman. That has always been my mantra, and I've let it fall to the wayside, but not for long - this confident woman is making a comeback!
Refocus my career goals. About 5 years ago I literally stumbled into the career of my dreams. It has taken me places that in my wildest dreams I never imagined I could go (um, like filming a commercial for Disney Parks and Lifetime Television!). I've found new talents (on-camera work) and honed lifelong ones (writing) but now, with this newly-sharpened set of abilities, it's time to figure out what the next big step is. I've been talking about it and dreaming about it, but much like I did the first time - it's time to dive in with both feet and just go for it.
Take up a hobby. Dude. (Chick?) I haven't had a hobby since, like, 1999. I really like to learn new things and I believe focusing my energy on something aside from just my family and my job is good for the soul. I'm considering learning how to scuba dive, but the artsy side of me is telling me to take up photography. It's already a mini hobby of mine and just recently I took some pretty decent photos of my daughter for her birthday that received amazing reviews and comments from friends and family alike. Either way, I think it will be good to focus on exercising my creative side. I'd hate to have nothing to show for this 15 year time span in my life. Well, except for two exceptional small people who will eventually be big people (and hopefully do a nice job in selecting my retirement community).
Go back to school (or at least decide if I want to). This one could end up being number 2 and 3 rolled into one. I've wanted to go back to school to get my MBA since I first finished my undergrad, but I was pregnant four months later and it just never happened. Frankly, it terrifies me - I'm now pushing 30. I know that I'm smart, and that I'm capable. I'm just not entirely convinced that I'm not too lazy to do it. Or that I even need it. It would be for my own personal satisfaction, and not because I want it to chase a job of any sort. I just kind of want to say that I did it. So maybe I will.
So there you have it. It's the month of love, right? Forget loving everyone else - I do plenty of that on a day-to-day basis - it's time to love myself for a change.
I deserve it.

