Please Don't Blog About This, or This
There are two kinds of blog posts that make me bat crazy. The ones where people complain about being sick. And the ones where people whine about the weather. So you have a head cold or a runny nose. I get it. You feel like crap. Complain to your husband. Sob to your best friends but please don't write a whole post with photos about your neti pot experience. (If you don't know what a neti pot is, consider yourself blessed and don't google. Why are you googling?!)
As for the weather, I know, I know. It's too cold where you live. It's too hot where you live. It's too humid and your bum is sticking to the leather seats of your minivan. Listen, if we could all pick up and move to Santa Barbara we would. But again, no one needs to read a whole post on how you haven't felt your fingertips in three days.
I mean, unless it's really cold. Like oh my gosh, why do I live in the Northeast?! If you don't want to be cold, don't move back to New York, fall in love and have four kids. Because you'll keep saying, "Let's move to California!" And your husband will keep responding, "But my job is in New York!" This conversation will be repeated 432 times in January and 378 times in February. Every single year. For 12 years.
As a result, I found myself on a dark, cold exercise walk this week, cursing the freezing temperatures and thinking, "If only I had married Ryan Gosling, I'd be living in LA right now." Now I have never met Ryan Gosling but I can only assume that if I had, we would be married and living in a sweet pad with palm trees swaying outside our bedroom window. I think this is a reasonable assumption. I became so despondent on this frigid workout that I had to eat Junior Mints to keep my spirits up.
Over Christmas, I high tailed it to my sister's in Memphis and it was even cold there. We were desperate for things to do indoors with the kids. So much so that we ended up at a children's play space that sounds a whole lot like Ducky Pheese. Now I had successfully avoided this chain since having children so it was with great sadness that I admitted defeat and bought my children there. But I was actually pleasantly surprised. An hour and half of fun entertainment cost me $15. I haven't gotten a bargain like that since New Kids on the Block toothbrushes went on sale.
I left cold Memphis and came back to even colder New York where I now wrestle my children into coats, gloves, mittens, boots and whatever else I can throw on them. Because these kids, who sleep in t-shirts with no blankets without a peep, can not stop complaining about the cold when they get outside. (Hmm.... I wonder where they learned that from?)
And today, my husband walked outside to go to work and momentarily thought he had forgotten to put on pants because his legs were so cold. You know it's just a matter of time before someone starts making jackets for your legs. Yeah, I'll wait a second while you write down that millionaire idea.
So where was I? Oh right. No posts about the weather because they are pointless. (See above for verification of this.) Anyway, I guess you might as well go ahead and tell me about your head cold.