In My Opinion
Five New Barbie Dolls I'd Buy In a Heartbeat
I grew up with Barbie – my Donny and Marie set provided HOURS of non-stop fun for me…until I cut all of Marie’s hair off and lost Donny at a roller rink. And girls today can enjoy everything from the William and Kate Barbie set, the “I Can Be News Anchor Barbie” and “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 1 Bella Doll. She has really come a long way, our girl.
In honor of Barbie’s 53rd Birthday (girlfriend looks GOOD - and she says she doesn’t use Botox) - I have come up with a few suggestions for Mattel (because that’s just me – always trying to be helpful) about which Barbie Dolls we’d REALLY like to see:
New Mom Barbie: Dark under-eye circles, an extra 5lbs she can’t seem to lose, a nursing bra and unwashed hair make this New-Mom Barbie the most realistic looking of all dolls. She’s vomit/spit-up scented too which makes her SUPER unique. Note: comes with a case of wine – not to be sold to anyone under 21.
PMS Barbie : Complete with three boxes of Raisinettes, two pints of Haagen-Dazs and a bottle of Advil, this bloated Barbie is outfitted in her “I’m having a fat day” jeans. She is also be equipped with a removable pimple so that girls of all ages can place it the exact spot on her face that it appears on each month.
Midlife Crisis Barbie aka “Cougar Barbie”: Meow! This leopard- print clad Barbie also comes with a bright red Mercedes convertible (that she bought with the money from her divorce settlement from Ken). And of course, she comes as a “set” with her hot (and much younger) gardener.
Pre-Menopausal Barbie: Pull a string in her back and watch Menopause Barbie’s face turn bright red while she breaks out into a sweat! She comes with a working hand-held fan and a bottle of Ambien to assist her with her sleepless nights.
Tina Fey Barbie: Forget all the blonde and leggy celebs that have become immortalized in the form of a doll - smart comediennes are the “new black” in Hollywood . Equipped with a laptop, glasses and a quirky smile, this doll can quickly transform into a “Sarah Palin lookalike” with a detachable bun, a smart red suit ,pumps...and of course, a shotgun.
Any new Barbie Dolls YOU’D like to see?