In My Opinion
Put 'Em Away. I Don't Need to See Your Boobs in The Locker Room!
Fact: Women's locker rooms are becoming more like peep shows than they are places to say - shower, change or apply tinted moisturizer.
Let me set the stage. You innocently walk into a locker room only to become assaulted by breasts upon breasts upon big ol’ breasts. A field day for the average guy, but a “how fast can I look away” moment for me. Why do some women feel the need to strut their naked stuff while getting ready for work or school or their PTA meeting? What ever happened to covering up the goods? What’s with the surplus of ladies lined up with their towels fastened below their boobs or no towel at all flat ironing their curly hair (summer humidity is a killer), dusting Nars Orgasm blush (THE BEST) and spraying some Secret (shhh) under their pits?
Today I was changing and one of my female friends slipped on her mini skirt (a really cute pleated floral one) and an armful of bangles…and then proceeded to carry on a ten minute cell phone conversation with her boyfriend. TOPLESS. I guess their chat got so heated she forgot to cover up? And how did I react? I smiled like a 10 year old, laughed nervously and developed a strange tick in my neck as I feverishly looked away and pretended to be "busy” (aka biting my cuticles and examining my split ends). AND for the record not all of these women prancing around have pre baby breasts. There are those lucky 20-somethings who haven't had the milk sucked dry from the yet who still get a "P" for perkiness. Sadly though, a majority of these knockers are out of shape and need some shaping along with their hamstrings in boot camp class. Not a pretty sight.
I'm one of those women who for years covered up throughout my adolescence and my 20s. I've always been well endowed from as early as I can remember – 5 years old maybe and I have never believed in putting my rack on display for the world (alas, there goes my Playboy centerfold). Ironically, I am in better shape NOW, after having my daughter and after weeks, (OK months) of portion control and spinning classes. I am more confident and quite comfortable in my own skin (skin slowly heading south by the minute) so I'm willing and able to change and walk around the locker room with some class and some *ss hanging out BRIEFLY. It is wonderful as a woman to feel good and embrace your shape and shake what your mama gave - but does it have to be topless with a bunch of strangers in a claustrophobic, overheated locker room? I vote no.
So I pose the question: Where does one draw the line with the open door breast policy? What is proper boob etiquette in a locker room? My initial gut feeling is save the boobies for the bedroom.