Dance Moms: The Guilt of a Working Mom
This week on the season premiere of "Dance Moms" I experienced the tension of balancing the responsibilities of work and dance. As a mom I want to be present to support my daughter, but as a working mother I also have commitments at work that need my attention and leadership. It is already tough juggling the demands of work and home, but adding dance to that mix makes balancing everything tremendously difficult. Always outrageous and often inappropriate, Abby never ceases to amaze me. I need to remind Abby consistently that if she has an issue with me she should discuss it directly with ME. I am the adult and Nia is the child. Nia is not responsible for my actions and therefore Abby should refrain discussing adult matters with a child.
Nia's strength is one of her greatest assets and negative comments from Abby will not crush her spirit, but she will use those hurtful words as fuel to prove Abby wrong. Nia and I talk a lot and it is important for us to process her experience dancing with Abby. There is a lot she can learn from Abby. Abby can train Nia to become an outstanding dancer, but I can also use Abby's dance education as a wonderful opportunity for Nia to learn to not let others steal your joy. Nia is passionate about dance and as long as her sense of self is intact and she knows her worth- which she does- this can be a good learning experience.
Nia's solo this week was some of her best work I heard form the other moms. Nia performed well and even placed. Although she did not win, she demonstrated improvement and her stage presence was captivating. I am incredibly proud of Nia's accomplishment this week and I am disappointed and saddened that I could not share that huge achievement with her. Although Nia was prepared for her solo, I really cannot help her with the dance since I am not a dance teacher. However having your mom present means a lot to the girls when they perform. I feel like I did not fulfill my duty as mom and I had to make a tough choice between work and dance. That hurts and I feel the guilt of a working mom.
- Read Christi's blog post about epsiode one
- Read Jill's blog post about episode one
- Enter the "Dance Moms" Sweepstakes
I know I am doing the right thing teaching Nia to be independent but she is only 10 and she still needs her mother. However, I know she know is a survivor and she has an amazing sense of self that will serve her well in life long term. But right now, I need to be with her when I can to advocate for her, cheer her on, and offer comfort - I need to be her mom.
Abby's decision to hold an open call for auditions this week was hurtful especially on the heels of our argument. I found this action insulting, but not surprising. Abby always says we are all replaceable. I try to not worry about those statements and focus on Nia being the best person she can be. I can't control Abby, but I can control our responses to certain situations.
Don't forget to tune in to a new epsiode of "Dance Moms" next Tuesday at 9/8c on Lifetime.