Keeping it Together While Your Husband is Away (For Months!!)

Don't miss the "Army Wives" Season 6 premiere Sunday, March 4 at 9 pm/8c!

You deal with so many emotions upon finding out your husband is leaving once again. Whether it is for a 12 month tour or a two week training mission, your mind goes haywire and your heart breaks. Why is it that sometimes being a military wife feels like the toughest job in the military?

While my husband is away it is my job to not only hold down the fort, but to also play both mommy and daddy to our son. I guess the fact that I am also 9 months pregnant doesn’t help in the “emotions” department. It is like a roller coaster with twists, turns and drops - and each day you never know where it will end up, or when it will stop.

When my husband leaves on another mission two things happen, first I go into major cleaning mode. This is the way I handle him being gone the first day or so. Second, I list all the things I want to accomplish while he is away. I am a planner and because of this, I think it is easier to keep busy and to stay sane during his missions.

So what do I do to stay sane?

   1.  Make a communication log: Because my husband is normally in an area where we cannot speak, and because when we do get a chance to speak I do not want to overwhelm him, I write it all down! This helps me to get things off my chest and remember what has happened throughout the day. When he returns home and asks what has been going on, he has the log and can read about all the fascinating things I go through each day he is away. It actually makes for a great laugh looking back and a great memory for my sons' milestones that my husband may miss.

   2.  Involve the children in activities: Since my son doesn’t attend a military school and hardly interacts with other military children, I need to make sure he understands our military world. I create projects and activities for him in order to help him understand what is happening and why daddy is away. Recently we made a huge basket with daddy’s picture on it and labeled it “send to daddy”. Everytime my son wants to send daddy a treat, he places it in the basket and we get it ready to send to daddy.

   3.  Don’t count the days he’s away, count the days left until homecoming: The worst thing to do is count down the days and weeks he has been gone. Make it exciting and less depressing for you and the kids. Make a “countdown until daddy gets home” calendar, put marbles in a jar and remove one for each day that has passed. It beats staring at the calendar that never seems to move!

   4.  Stay involved and ask for help: Don’t let the fact that your husband is away change your plans. If you go to the gym twice a week or take your children to the movies every Friday night, keep your schedule. It not only helps you stay on track but also helps the kids adjust to not having daddy home. If you have childcare issues, don’t be afraid to ask those around you. Especially if you have military families around you.

   5.  Do something for you: Don’t forget that in order to maintain sanity, you need to take care of yourself. Whether it is a manicure/pedicure at the salon or a simple bubble bath at home, remember that in order to stay focused and be there for your children, you must make time for you. Another great example of when asking for help is important.

Don't miss the "Army Wives" Season 6 premiere Sunday, March 4 at 9 pm/8c!

Find more tips on staying sane while your husband is deployed.