We're Trying To Have Sex For Seven Days Straight (Getting Through The First Day Is The Biggest Challenge)

My husband has been ready “to get to work" since I informed him of my assignment, aka the 7 Days of Sex challenge. He's been shooting me covert sly smiles and winking at me to the point of nausea, and this evening when we shared a cannoli, our form of foreplay, drum roll... he fed it to me on a spoon. I know we live on the edge.

So it's 8:30 pm when we finally get into our bed and tell the kids it's time to leave our room. For some insane reason these kids only want to be in our tiny queen bed, even though they've got two brand spanking new mattresses and every creature comfort known to mankind in their respective bedrooms. We finally get them out at 9 pm. And then we wait, like two kids trying to get it on in the basement of one of their parents’ houses, until we hear snoring. It is now 9:45 pm. Oh wait we now realize we have a Shih Tzu lying between us. We move her over. We think we are finally in the clear. We are going to get our sex challenge on, or more aptly we are going to do the one thing that should be the best, easiest and cheapest way to enjoy one's spouse. We're going to have sex.

"Wait," I tell my husband as he inches closer, "We can't do it while All in the Family is blaring on the tube, seeing Archie Bunker's face is not quite turning me on." Thankfully my husband acquiesces and turns on the radio instead. I tell him, please turn off the sports channel talk radio, which is also not quite doing it for me. So we settle on easy listening-we all have to make compromises in a marriage- right? I begin to light some candles and my husband says, “Honey we only need one candle unless you're planning on burning down the house." At this point, I couldn't care less about the music or if a 12 piece marching band decided to storm our bedroom; I want to have sex. I don't want to argue. So I say OK and just leave one candle burning. It's 10 pm now and my husband yawns. I realize it's NOW or never, my window of opportunity is about to shut so I make my move. I go for it, and my husband-ever the team player-acquiesces yet again.

Well let's just say we end up on our backs, huffing and puffing, aka every post coitus scene from any generic TV sitcom...and then he says, "One down six to go." I say, bring it, and then begin to wax about how much I love being with him and wondering out loud why we don't do this more often. After my five minute soliloquy I look over at him, but he's already fast asleep. Did I mention he's 15 years older than me and tires easily? Perhaps, for our next six consecutive romps in the hay, I need to have 911 on speed dial you know just in case.

More 7 Days of Sex:

• Sex...It Just Gets Better and Better
• Your Sexual Healing: Is It More Than Just Physical?
• Seven Days of Sex: Could You Do It?