What NOT To Do Before Your Husband Deploys

In the almost four years that my husband and I have been married, he has deployed eight times. By now you’d think I was a pro at handling these temporary separations, but I ‘m not. I’m an emotional mess every time he has to leave. I believe other military wives would agree: No matter how many times you have to do it, saying goodbye sucks.

Unfortunately, deployments are par for the course if your husband is in the armed services. And while you may never be comfortable with the idea of him leaving, I’ve learned in my time as a military wife that there are ways to make the goodbyes less painful…at least for him.

Here are three things not to do before your husband deploys:

1. Don't beg him not to leave

You can beg and you can plead, but you can’t change your husband’s orders. So why try? Begging him not to leave implies that he has the power to opt out of the deployment, and unless he is a super high ranking officer, he probably doesn’t.  Don’t make him feel worse for having to go.

2. Don't be mad at him for leaving

If your husband is like mine, he joined the military because he feels an obligation to protect his country and to make the world a safer place. Sadly for us, deploying is just part of the job description. Be proud of him for the work he is doing; don’t get angry with him for having to do his job.

3. Don't create a last minute honey-do list

It’s tempting to want your husband to cross off all the items that have been lingering on your to-do list. But that squeaky door or broken lamp can wait to be fixed until he gets home (or better yet, figure out how to fix them yourself!). Enjoy every last possible second you have with your husband!

Yes, I’ve been guilty of all three in the past, and I’m sure I’ll be guilty of them in the future. As my husband prepares to leave yet again, I’ve been trying to follow my own advice. Saying goodbye will always be hard, but it can get a little bit easier each time.

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