Is Mom Drama Inevitable?

Wow!! It is hard to believe that so much has happened in the last few weeks.  The moms created zombie costumes (which I must say were awesome), the girls did a ballet number without ballet shoes, Maddie’s cd skipped while performing and Nia had her first contemporary solo.  Those are just a few of the highlights of our recent dance experience. Here's my epsiode 17 recap:

I am not a fan of the pyramid system.  Nia’s placement on the pyramid was a surprise but not a disappointment.  I want Nia to continue growing as a dancer.  More solos will provide Nia with the experience to mature as a dancer.  The outcome of her solo performances is not as important as seeing her evolution as a dancer.  Having the opportunity for solos is one way to hone your skills. I want Nia to have the opportunity for growth.

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What we are seeing in Nia is her ability, talent, commitment and evolution as a dancer. Nia is maturing as a dancer and her technique and confidence are steadily improving.  Nia has the talent.  Nia just needs someone to help develop her talent and technique.  Hopefully, our decision to have Nia trained at Abby’s studio will prove to be in Nia’s best interest and we’ll see Nia given more opportunities to shine!

 There is a lot happening behind the scenes with the team.  Friendships are being tested and we struggle as moms to determine what to share with each other.  No one wants to upset anyone so we pick and choose our battles.  At times we do not share concerns with each other because we are afraid of the end result.  People may be surprised that we try to avoid conflict.  Sometimes when we try to avoid conflict, we mistakenly create conflict as a result.  That occurred a couple of times this week. When it was announced that Leslie and Payton were coming back you could feel the tension mounting. The last experience was not that positive and some feelings were hurt.   There were rumblings about bullying behavior, but no one wanted to address those issues head on because of the potential reaction. Avoidance of the subject was inevitable-bullying is not acceptable.

When Leslie was invited into the discussion on bullying, the conversation did not go well and it quickly escalated to an argument. It was too late to avoid hurt feelings. The damage was already done.  It was a heated exchange and at one point Leslie asked for a definition of bullying.  Although I wanted to stay out of the drama, I thought my contribution of a bully definition might bring some perspective to the conversation.  I think the definition was helpful in some ways.

I was surprised when Abby mentioned that Maddie had a second solo. Having an opportunity to compete in a solo gives you experience, practice and an additional competitive opportunity.  With practice, you become better over time. That being said, I do not object to Maddie’s having a second solo. My objection is that there were other girls on the team who did not have an opportunity to perform a solo so it seemed unfair to give someone additional solo experience.

I was also offended by the way this was handled.  I am not a big believer in keeping secrets.  If a decision was made to have Maddie perform two solos, then that should have been said upfront.  A team is a team! Be transparent with your actions and do not disguise them.  It comes across as sneaky.  There is no need to be sneaky.  

In hindsight, no one should have been surprised. Abby has publicly announced that Maddie is a favorite so having double solos for her just shows Abby’s continued preferential treatment.  I was more surprised that Melissa had a costume and everything was already set up! At this point I have come to expect the unexpected.  I can’t wait to see what surprises await us next week.