Struggling with my Husband's Dangerous Military Job
I recently wrote a revealing blog post about jealousy. Every couple months or so, I start feeling envy towards similarly-aged women, other moms and wives I follow via social media, who I believe have it better than me.
In my post, I was referring to those women whose homes are fully furnished and impeccably styled, as if they’re going to be photographed for a shelter magazine. Those women who take lavish, extended vacations overseas—with well-behaved little ones in tow. Those women who hop from coffee date to coffee date (sometimes with well-behaved little ones in tow!) and never seem to have any chores or work.
The truth is that I’m also jealous of women whose husbands are businessmen, doctors, or educators. You know, “normal jobs.” Sure those types of jobs may not necessarily be 9-5, but at least they don’t involve multiple deployments, time apart from your spouse during which you’re constantly worried about his safety.
Yes, I’m jealous of women who aren’t military wives.
Now, before some of my fellow milspouses saddle up their high horses and tell me that I should be proud of what my husband does and that I should’ve known what I was getting myself into when I married him (believe it or not, I’ve been told both of those things before), let me say this:
1) I am proud of my husband. He’s infinitely braver than I am.
2) There is no way to prepare in advance for what it will be like when your husband is away at war.
Then I recently learned that the father of my son’s preschool friend is a Navy EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal). His responsibilities include dismantling and rendering safe unexploded bombs—underwater mines, land mines, and IEDs like roadside bombs. Think “The Hurt Locker.” Before his six-month deployments, he has six months of training, so he’s essentially deployed for a full year.
It’s almost hard to feel bad about my situation when this husband and father is away from home for months longer at a time and has just about the most dangerous military job I can imagine. And while I’m sure his wife is extremely proud of the important, life-saving work he does, I wonder if she’s also a little bit jealous of me because my husband has a “safer” military job.
Do you ever wish that your spouse wasn’t in the military? That he had a safer job?
Don't miss the season finale of "Army Wives", this Sunday at 9.8c on Lifetime.