7 Days of Sex
What I Learned From Being On The Show “7 Days of Sex”
--Guest post from Laura Nelson
Laura and her husband Mike appear on tonight's episode of "7 Days of Sex". The show airs on Thursdays at 10/9c.
Before Mike and I got married 14 years ago, we decided to have a prenuptial agreement. We agreed we would always be passionate in the bedroom and never become those couples who never have sex. I would have to say that after 14 years, we have done pretty well keeping sex in our relationship, but what started missing for us was that passionate spark which seems to wane after being with someone for so long.
I don’t know if it had to do with adding kids to our daily life, or not communicating as much, or simply just falling into the mundane realities of life; nonetheless, the passion between us had taken a hiatus. When I heard about the show, “7 Days of Sex”, I immediately called Mike to tell him about it. He and I had been talking about the lack of luster in our relationship and knew that drastic measures had to be taken to try and get the passion back. We still had sex 1 to 2 times a week, but the sex was nothing to brag about. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we had our moments of fireworks, but they were few and far between.
When Mike and I started the 7 day experiment, I started to realize what it was that had left our relationship. We had lost sight of each other. This is not uncommon in marriages. My problem was that I got lazy. When we first started dating, I cared every second how I looked. I fixed my hair, touched up my make-up, dressed sexy and bought lingerie. Where had that Laura gone? I wondered. I also left Mike notes everywhere that showed him just how much I loved him and was thinking about him. These things, I realized, were what made Mike crazy about me.
Throughout our 7 Days, Mike and I were forced to communicate more deeply, and we actually had time to focus on each other and rediscover each other without the disruption of kids, stress, finances, and work getting in the way. We found our way back to each other and with that, the passion soon began to accompany our sex. (Not to mention our 1-2 days has gone to 6-7 days a week.)
This experiment left me thinking about how so many people could save their marriages by giving it a second effort. Mike and I made vows and we hung them up in our room to look at each day. Having those commitments visible make us accountable. So many marriages disintegrate because of complacency. During the toast at our wedding my maid of honor said, “Always remember, love is a verb.” It is so true. When we stop trying in a relationship is when it starts to go. From this experiment and making these new vows to each other, I have a deeper understanding of what is needed to keep a marriage strong and passionate. As a result of my wisdom, I would like to share with you a marriage “to do” list.
Look good for your mate daily-make that special effort to get ready in the morning. Curl your hair, put on make-up, and throw on heels. When you look good, you feel good and with that extra confidence, your man will not be able to keep his hands off of you.
Surprise him once a day-whether it is bringing him his coffee in the morning, surprising him with lunch, taking him out to dinner, or even dressing up in lingerie at bedtime, make him know you are thinking about him.
Put the kids to bed early-you need to have “us” time each day. Have a 7:00 or 8:00 bed time for your kids. This gives you and your man time to talk about your day, be intimate, and have sex!!
Date Night-you must make time at least once a month to go out and enjoy each other. This allows you to dress up, be attractive, and have fun!
The Small Things-take time to show love through the small things. Leave a note for him telling him how sexy he his and put it in his wallet. Text him during the day to tell him you are thinking about him. Put a rose on the seat of his car the morning he has to get up early for work.
These tips are not a cure all by any means, but the extra effort in a marriage really helps. It’s too easy to give up and get divorced. You loved your man once, you can love him again but you must always remember, “Love is a verb.”
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