3 Tips To Turn A Quickie Engagement InTo A LONG Marriage: Jennifer Aniston, Take Notes
Personally, I think the reason I’m most excited that Jennifer Aniston's15 month courtship with Justin Theroux has culminated in their engagement- is my hope that this will quell the media's obsessive need to cast Aniston as that jilted woe be gone ex wife of Brad Pitt. While I am pleased as punch for her that she has found her lobster (the fish that mates for life) some are already decrying the fact that their courtship is not nearly long enough to sustain a lasting marital union. Well, I might be the right person to offer perspective on the effectiveness of quickie engagements leading to long lasting marriages. Why? Because I am smack in the middle of such a relationship, and relatively happy I might add.
My husband and I met on July 19th 1997 and were engaged on November 19th 1997. Yes... a quickie courtship indeed and yet here we are 16 years later still very much together. And this is why I completely advocate quickie engagements. I think when you meet someone, that right person; you feel it in your gut. You have this mental checklist of all the things you wanted in a mate and this person somehow embodies the lion’s share of these characteristics. My first date with my husband began at 2pm and didn’t end till 2 am. We spent most of the time talking and it felt like he this was a person I'd always known; there was this immediate comfort level with him that I'd struggled to attain with other men after six or seven dates.
You could say our quickie courtship was all hormones, adrenaline- and infatuation. And yes, that is partly true. However, although my husband constantly tells our daughter that ours is not the ideal situation- i.e. she had better date a lot longer before she makes a decision on the one, I believe in the ability to meet someone and just know that you were meant to be with this person and make lots of babies.
One thing I do know for sure is that having that ring on my finger kept me committed and willing to work on things during those arguments every couple has-- - as opposed to just breaking it off. So perhaps that engagement ring is also a motivator-- and a physical reminder to keep your eye on the end goal-(another reason for taking the leap and engaging in a quickie engagement).
So the real question: Once you do this quickie engagement how do you turn it into a long term commitment and not a Kim Kardashian 72 day marriage? I asked three women who have done it and here are some of their secrets!
Kadi Cobb Prescott :We met Jan 1998. Pregnant and engaged by April 1998. Married July 1998. Baby born Dec 1998. Fourteen years later...and seven kids later....still happy! We have learned to laugh at the crappy stuff, talk about everything and overlook the small stuff.
Stephanie Barr Hansen: We dated for 3.5 months. I got knocked up. Got married about 9 months after we started dating. Been married for 15 years. Our "secret"... Communication. Being able to tell the other person everything and knowing it's a safe place to do so.
Catherine Moss: My husband and I dated for 2 years and had a 6 week engagement - no I was not pregnant and neither of us were facing deportation. We've been married for seven years. I think our short engagement and the stress of pulling together a wedding quickly was a great test of our relationship and showed how well we work together under pressure.
So have you got any tips for the happy couple?