In My Opinion
Is Being “Adult” The New Excuse For Bad Behavior?
Lately, it seems that every person who is dabbling in an extramarital affair (emotional or physical), cheating on a boyfriend or girlfriend or otherwise up to no good, uses being “an adult” as an excuse. As in, “Well, we’re adults” or “I’m grown.”
When did adulthood become synonymous with loose morals, sexual promiscuity and lying and cheating?? This troubles me.
Admittedly, I’ve explained away a few of my own naughty rendezvous moments with a nonchalant—“well, I’m grown.” But I’m starting to wonder why that is.
I thought adulthood was about leaving our foolish mistakes behind. Isn’t that why we went to college? To get all the dumb stuff out of our system? If not then at least by the end of our 20’s. Weren’t we supposed to learn by adulthood that cheaters never win and winners never cheat and other transformative life lessons?
So why are so many so-called “adults” acting foolishly in the name of adulthood?
The other week, I was stuck in the airport due to a flight delay and I ended up striking up a conversation with a man at the bar. A few minutes in, he said he had noticed me a while ago in the gate area, and he thought I was beautiful and wanted to know if I had a boyfriend. Let me start by saying, I eat up all compliments. Like with a spoon. At my age, I take every compliment—even if it were from a visually impaired person, if it happened—very seriously and with much glee. But he definitely wasn’t my type and the airport pick-up is so not my cup of tea. Anwyhoo, I gave him my standard, “Thanks. But I have a boyfriend,” line. I don’t (sadly). But it usually works as a repellent.
Instead of taking the hint, the man told me that he also had a girlfriend but …(you guessed it,) “we are all adults.” No one needs to know and no one needs to get hurt, he said. “It is what it is,” he said.
Oh by the way, “it is what it is,” is the usual follow-up line after “we are all adults.”
And I really wanted to say, Yes, I am an adult. And that means I try to make fewer selfish decisions, like not caring about the woman I don’t know to whom you are being unfaithful . As an adult, I actually value sex more, not less, and I don’t hook up with random men in airports (often). J And as an adult, I’m looking for real intimacy not a college style wham-bam-thank-you-mam (most of the time).
We are going to have to stop tarnishing adulthood and using it as a scapegoat. If we are really adults, let’s be grown and say what it really is. Call yourself a horny human or somebody you doesn’t give a flying fig—no judgment. But let’s stop using “We’re all adults,” as a hall pass for bad behavior.