5 Tips to Spice Up Your Married Sex Life
I adore being married but let's face it- sex with the same person for 13 years can get perfunctory and stale. Don't get me wrong, I love getting intimate with my husband and sex with someone you love, well it is one of the greatest ways to express and connect to that person on the most primal of levels and is really as close as you can physically get to one another. Of course when you've been getting close in exactly the same way, on the same days, under the EXACT same conditions-- seeing the same come hither look from your man, means yours truly will-- at times--take one for the team so that I can still catch the tail end of Dance Moms.
I hate admitting that at times I'd rather be playing Scrabble than having sex with my husband, and that watching paint dry is at times infinitely more exciting than my married sex life. I think ultimately the bottom line is it's challenging to keep one's married sex life as titillatingly fresh as that dating and newlywed sex you and your partner once engaged in. More than anything I want to chuck my take-one- for-the-team attitude and really begin to think more in terms of the phrase Carpe Diem when thinking and having sex with my beloved husband. So being that Valentine's Day is almost upon us, which means we are smack dab in the trenches of the month of love, I've called in the big guns to help both you married ladies out there, as well as myself, take your married sex life up several notches so that this Valentine's day and hopefully from here on in- sex with your husband will be more akin to "rockets red glare and bombs bursting in air" as opposed to you know, that whole paint drying phenomenon that tends to characterize what's happening in your bedroom these days.
As founder of Booty Parlor, the sexy confidence, beauty, and lifestyle brand, Dana B. Myers has changed the lives thousands of women, from A-List celebrities to stay-at-home moms, by inspiring them to boost their sexy self-confidence and create sexier, more satisfying experiences, inside and outside of the bedroom. She is also the author of The Official Booty Parlor Mojo Makeover: Four Weeks To A Sexier You (HarperCollins) and offers these five tips to spice up your married sex life- just in time for the day of love!
#1 Flirt with your husband
Although it’s done consciously, most women stop flirting once they’re in a committed relationship. Who says you can’t flirt? You’re married, not dead! Just because you’re married it doesn’t mean you don’t want to feel desired by others. It’s human nature to want that! And it’s also human nature for you to desire others – but since you’re in a deeply committed relationship, that’s where it stops. So, a bit of light flirting will really fuel your fire, boost your confidence and affirm just how sexy you feel, and then bring all that home to your husband and your marital bed.
#2 Frisky getaway sex
Sneak away to a cheap motel for a night! Surprise your guy the first time out, and then turn it into a regular thing. After the two of you check in, lock yourself in the bathroom and slide into a pair of vibrating panties, then pull on your sexiest jeans over them. Tell your guy you want to hit up the local burger joint for dinner. Once there, slide the panties’ remote control across the table. If he wonders what it is, press ON and take his hand to your inner thigh; he’ll feel the vibrations and immediately want to play. As you enjoy your beers and frisky conversation, he’ll scroll through the setting on the remote, taking you for a wild ride of pulsing, surging, escalating, vibrating fun. You’ll need to work on keeping a straight face, while he won’t be able to stand up without exposing his desire. See how long you two can take it before you race back to the hotel and start your naughty little night away.
#3 Hot tub for two
Create a seductive bath ritual! Another way to adore your whole body is to submerge it. Often we’re in such a rush with our beauty rituals that we opt for quick showers, and forget about the seductive experience of having a bath. The bathtub is a phenomenal place to escape from the world, to release life’s cares, and to get in touch with your relaxed sexy self, especially if you invite your husband to join you.
#4 Talk dirty to each other
When it comes to sexy talk, people will often clam up and think, 'I can't do that!', but it's really just another way to express yourself in the bedroom. Women can use lingerie or toys or just their voice. Women can be soft and sleek and still a little naughty, or racy and raunchy and way out there, and anywhere in the middle! It's really just another way to heighten foreplay, add adventure, and actually get what you want in bed. A lot of women are afraid to ask for what they want, and it's important to translate what feels good and what's going to bring you satisfaction into words. Doing that in a fun, sexy, and frisky way is dirty talk! Who knows you may just discover a little bit of your inner bad girl.
#5 Turn your bedroom in a boudoir
Think of your bedroom as a sanctuary, a place that you escape to… an oasis. When you turn your bedroom into an oasis for seduction, you'll find that you both want to spend more time there – together. These five moves (and a few key accessories) will make your bedroom feel more fabulous, and you'll feel sexier in it!
1. Ditch the clutter. Move the exercise equipment and all traces of work to another room—they're reminders of things you need to do and they distract you from sexy thoughts. File the store receipts away and put any kid or in-law photos in the den or playroom, you don't need them watching!
2. Add sexy accents. Think: a frilly, bordello-inspired bedside lamp, a string of tiny white lights along your curtains, a twinkly chandelier. And of course, light some candles!
3. Upgrade your bedding. Bedding that feels good against bare skin is so seductive. Look for satin or silk which are slinky and sexy. Another favorite of mine (especially in the cooler months) is cotton jersey—it's amazingly soft and happens to be totally affordable.
4. Keep chocolate close by! It's an aphrodisiac. Share molten chocolate cake in bed. The texture alone is...naughty.
5. Debut a new frisky accessory. No question, it will inspire desire! Whatever you choose to spice things up, whether it's a piece of lingerie, a toy, a sexy movie, make a show of it by displaying it on top of your bed. Glancing at it during the day will build anticipation for you (and your partner!).