Birthday Presents Your Husband Won't Return!
Being that my husband is probably the hardest person to buy a present for, I've been racking my brain trying to come up with a gift I can get this man that he won't return. My sugar daddy, who is turning the big 54, has on several occasions returned the wallets I've bought for him, saying the ratty old one he’s been carrying around circa 2001 ala George Costanza just bursting at the seams with receipts, phone numbers scrawled on scraps of paper is all he needs.
Therefore, last year I tried to think outside the box when it came to choosing his birthday present. While shopping in New York City's Chinatown (okay that's a bold-faced lie I was EATING MY WAY through Chinatown) I stumbled upon a cute little box that had a small slot to insert money- and a 1970′s era style looking photo of a clean cut guy, who had this real earnest look on his face, and scrawled right above his picture in big letters was the phrase, "I’m saving up for a Blow JOB.”
I immediately thought; what a cute and funny gift to give my husband- who knows, performing said act is not on my bucket list. So I gave it to him on his birthday thinking he would laugh his ass off- and then begin to fastidiously stockpile those dollar bills and quarters to save up. Well, I could not have been more off the mark, my sugar daddy thought it was not all that funny. He said to me, with a very earnest look on his face, that he should not have to PAY for said act. Of course I agreed that it should be part of the marital contract, as in once a year on his birthday, after placing a very large bauble on my neck, ears or wrists.
Therefore to celebrate his big 54th year on this planet I thought it wise to scour the internet for gifts I feel confident men like my husband, who either return the gifts they get or scowl at them--will actually appreciate.
A Love book. This is a gift book that you create on (LoveBookOnline.com) where it lists ALL the reasons why you love/appreciate someone. Why is it awesome? Because it touches on specific moments and achievements that ALL men want recognition for. The best stories are sometimes lost over time. A LoveBook lets you say how special those moments really were. The process is simple, you create an account, choose a hard or soft cover and start adding pages. You can choose from their database of user-generated pages or you can create your own from scratch. Once you start listing a few reasons, the ideas just start flowing. Each page also allows you to create a cute stick figure illustration using their 1000+ stamp collection.
Unique (and cost-free I might add) gift ideas for the man who has everything.
Create a Spotify playlist for him to let him know – through song – how much you love him. Be sure to include his favorite artists, as well as some traditional songs (i.e. your first dance at your wedding).
Use Viddy to send your husband an "I love you" video, whether you're near or far.
Find the perfect "you are the best" recipe on Foodily, and share it with an IOU for the next date night
Login to Jib Jab with Facebook and create a personalized card he'll never forget.
Use Pinterest to pull together a thank you board. Pin everything that reminds you of him — childhood books, his favorite BBQ recipes and tools, places you've been together, and more.
A tribute video!
He can’t take it back – it’s done and it’s just for him – and he will love it. It will feed his ego and make him feel loved – it’s like having people say nice things after you’re dead – but you get to hear it when you’re still alive! The company Your Story Here will interview siblings and friends, can add in video from your wedding and your kids as they were growing up – plus photos, music, and create a spectacular 20 minute production.
These gifts via Cloud 9 Living give your husband something thrilling that he will remember for a lifetime. And they have something for every budget and every type of guy out there. Here are a few of their most popular gifts for men.
Race Car Driving: He can strap into the driver's seat and whip around the track at up to 120 MPH just like the NASCAR racers do.
Fighter Pilot for a Day: He can hop into a fully-aerobatic Marchetti SF260 for a combat experience with former Vietnam fighter pilots and man the controls 90% of the time!
Golf Lessons and Swing Evaluations: He can spend the day perfecting his golf skills with a PGA pro.
Hang Gliding and Paragliding: He can either take beginner lessons that end with a solo flight or fly tandem.
Whitewater Rafting: This is or any other type of outdoor gift experience will thrill and challenge his inner-athlete.
So what's been the one birthday present you've given your husband which he has NOT returned?