Don't Bother Talking Dirty - Just Talk Football!
Sunday night my fiance' and I cheered the Giants on to a win against the San Francisco 49ers. And when I say we both did it - I mean it. I hoot and holler, complain about bad calls by the refs, and briefly shifted into a state of mourning when it looked like our best receiver would be out for the game with a shoulder injury.
I love football - I grew up in southern Louisiana where everybody is a rabid Saints fan. And I do mean rabid. For heaven's sakes, they call the quarterback, Drew Brees, by the very sacreligious nickname "Breesus".
You know, as in - "What Would Breesus Do?" Ahem.
Ironically today I clicked over to Lifetime Moms to read what some of my fellow moms were writing about and I cracked up at an article by Jennifer Brandt about being thankful that football season is soon coming to a close. It was well written and made me giggle - I am a chick after all, so I totally see her points.
The only thing is that I felt she left out one major point - women who "speak football" are hotter than all of the supermodels in the world combined. In my time as a single woman, I met lots of men who wanted to talk about sports. I can hold my own when it comes to basketball and baseball, but when the conversation turns to football, I really shine. I'm no pro, but trust me, what I know is enough.
I've never heard a story of a woman who went on a date and told her guy that she hated football - only for him to reply "thank GOD! What an awful, barbaric sport!" Well, ok, there was one friend who had that experience but we quickly figured out that the guy was gay. However, I have had lots of experience telling men that I'm a football fan where the response is "Are you kidding? That's so hot."
And guess what? The jersey that I have in the closet (with pink glitter on it, of course) also gained me major points. Having a favorite team? Points. Throwing out a few football phrases? (C'mon guys, let's get some points on the board! Think they'll go for it on 4th down?) Big time points.
So many points as a matter of fact, that when I see a flag on the play and assume it's for roughing the passer when it is, indeed, for a false start -- most men just pretend like they don't hear me. They like it better when I know most of the rules and prefer not to ruin it for themselves.
And we think men aren't smart.
So last night, when my fiance's brother called after the game (you know, for the obligatory "dude, did you see that play?!" debrief) and commented on the fact that Alex Smith (the quarterback for the 49ers) was just downright awful I took the opportunity to show my knowledge yet again.
"Ugh. He's even worse than Tim Tebow." I commented casually as I folded clothes in the background. My fiance' beamed at me and patiently waited for his brother to finish a sentence before he proudly relayed my comment (which got a guffawing laugh, thank you very much). Then he stood up and walked over to give me a high five and a slient smooch on the cheek.
So to all of you football naysayers, I say you should consider changing your ways. Is the sport barbaric? Yes. Repetitive? Terribly. Somewhat unenlightening? Incredibly. But, I figure it's no worse than my Dance Moms addiction, so I can't really complain. Plus, there is something about being picked up and twirled around in excitement when your team (or his team) wins or having your guy brag to his friends about your extensive football knowledge that erases all of those other negatives for me.
So feel free to hate football - I don't mind. I actually really like having the title of cool football-loving-chick all to myself.