Hurry Up and Love Each Other! Intimacy in the Age of Parenting
My husband just got back from a business trip to London. We haven't seen each other much in the past two months, so tonight we are going on a date. Like most exhausted parents, we now have to choose between dinner and a movie because we can't stay awake for both. So we figured we'd go to dinner so we can actually talk to each other.
I feel like when I'm alone with my husband, it takes us a while to get back in a groove. With kids around who are constantly interrupting for one reason or another, I can't seem to keep a thought in my head, to the point where I almost don't remember how to make conversation. Our exchanges are often reduced to, "Remember we're going to your mother's on Saturday and I've got that bike ride on Sunday," and "Tell the contractor he has to close up that one wall, and don't forget I'm out of town for Back to School night so you're going to have to get a babysitter." We end up ticking off things we need the other to do and changes in our schedules. Forget about current events or politics or books. Because we've got such limited time and focus, it has to be boiled down to just the essentials.
So we've got a date. Some time set aside just to reconnect with each other. This is good, right? I mean, this is what our couple's therapist recommended, and considering how much he makes an hour, he must know what he's talking about. Honestly though, there's something weird about this rushed, scheduled intimacy. The babysitter meter is ticking, we've got a million other things vying for our time, and we've got to have FUN! because who knows when we'll get this time again.
Be that as it may, I'm putting on a dress and heels, curling my hair and swiping on some lipstick with the hope that in the limited time our high school babysitter is here, my husband and I will get our groove back. We've got exactly two and a half hours to be interesting and interested. Annnddd... GO!