Marriage is Hard. You Hear it All the Time. And It Is.
Before you got married, you had your own set of priorities and goals. Now you have those, plus his, plus a new set of shared goals. Then you have a kid. Now add another set to that. Multiply by each subsequent kid. What were YOUR goals again? You're too tired to remember, let alone care.
And in the midst of this parenting fog, you pass your spouse in the hallway and give a nod or a wave to acknowledge your connection, like two Jeep drivers passing on the street. "Hey, I know you. We have the same kid."
Parenting is exhausting. So your patience wears thin with the only other adult in the house. When it was just the two of us, maybe there was a small argument about the equitable division of household chores, but we had time on our hands so we could work it out pretty easily. Now with kids in the mix, there's no room for nonsense. My husband and I drink iced tea with lemon. We don’t own a garbage disposal. But somehow he thinks he can empty his glass into the sink and leave the lemon wedge IN THERE!! Does he think there’s some lemon elf that throws them away? ! I tell him to quit leaving lemons in the sink. He says he read somewhere that it freshens the drain. Is Sports Illustrated now including kitchen tips? I say, “Yeah, that’s for people with a garbage disposal.” But he keeps doing it! I told him the next time I find a lemon in the sink I’m going to stab him in his sleep.
But you know what? He may leave the toilet seat up. He may dump lemons in the sink. He may call me from a business dinner in Paris when I'm up to my neck in macaroni and cheese and homework, making me want him to choke on his croissant. But given the chance, I'd do it all again.
Like parenting, marriage is hard. But when it's good, it's so spectacularly, heart-swellingly good that it makes all the work worth it. As Mark Twain once said, "To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with."