Musings on Jdate: Why These 70-Year-Old Men Are Clearly Hitting The Crack Pipe
So, unbeknownst to my mom, we recently signed her up for a JDate
account. My father, the man she met at the tender age of 15 and spent
the next five decades plus of her life embroiled in an often tumultuous and intense love affair with, passed away less than a year ago and, well, we are still sort of reeling, licking our wounds trying to make sense of life without him and still feeling very fuzzy about everything.
Death is so final and everyone expects you to continue to go through the motions, as if this permanent appendage that you’ve lived with your entire life has not been shockingly amputated in a most horrifying way. That’s how I see my father’s exit from my life and this world– still feels so surreal- and as if there is a phantom part of my body/my life that I feel is missing, but yet at times I still sense is there. It is so disconcerting and yet, life goes on….
So we figured we’d just see what was out there and sort of test the dating waters for my 64 year old mom. Our first stop– JDate. After browsing through profiles of men 70 years and older, all I have to say is; I. AM. DISGUSTED.
The ageism and the dating requirements these geriatric, not even good looking men have (to quote a 71 year old man who responded to an email I sent in which he stated, “I am ONLY looking to be with women who are between the ages of 40 and 46 years old”) are just beyond my comprehension. Is this REALLY the pool of men my 64 year old mother must contend with? And if so, what does that mean for her prospects of meeting someone with whom she can share her life? Is her only chance at friendship and snagging a boyfriend with a 90 year old man who is hooked up to an oxygen tank and has one foot in the grave? Where do these men get off having these ridiculous age requirements?
Of course my mother could care less about even looking at another man,
or even contemplating being with another, but I hope at some point she
will be able to put aside her grief and attempt to dip her pinky toe into this world. Although after seeing the ridiculous expectations of these senior citizen men- I am unsure of what her romantic future holds other than playing nurse maid to a half dead ninety-something-year-old…UGH!!!
Have you done online dating, if so, how are you managing?