One Father. One Mother: Should Married People Flirt?
Guys flirt. Girls flirt. It's part of the dating ritual. But what happens once you're married? Continued flirting could be seen as destructive to your relationship or completely harmless fun. Which brings us to this week's question... Should married people flirt?
Andrew Kardon president of Joe Shopping who blogs at Mommy's Busy... Go Ask Daddy about comic books, toys, video games, cartoons, and his kids, and Melissa Chapman, a Lifetime mom who blogs at Married My Sugar Daddy are going head to head tackling issues that all parents face. This week it's all about flirting. Do you agree or disagree with them? Weigh in with your comments!
He says: Andrew Kardon: Mommy's Busy... Go Ask Daddy
I don't think it's a question of should they flirt or not. I think flirting is really part of someone's inherent personality. Why should a guy or girl stop flirting just because they're married? It's just harmless fun. If a wife's going to get jealous every time a guy tells a waitress a funny joke, then there's deeper problems going on there. Or if a husband's going to get completely fired up because his wife is giggling and tossing her hair back while talking to the landscaper, he may have some control issues.
Everyone loves to feel loved. As we get older, we naturally feel a bit less attractive, more out of shape. Being married to the same person for a long time certainly doesn't help in that department, as the sparks can fade a bit. So what's wrong with feeling desirable? If some innocent flirting with a co-worker or salesperson can improve a person's self esteem and make them more confident of themselves, isn't that a good thing?
Look, men and women go to the gym to workout and get better bodies. Sure they want to be more attractive for their spouse, but they also want to show off their rockin' hot bodies. Don't tell me otherwise. Everyone wants to proudly strut their stuff at the beach. So how is that really any different than flirting? As long as no lines are ever crossed (playing "hide the salami" is definitely a line-crosser), I say flirting is fine no matter what your relationship status or age.
Melissa Chapman: Lifetime Mom I think flirting is great, fun, mysterious, an ego boost... but NOT something married folk should be doing. Flirting is dangerous, which of course is what makes it so seductive especially as a married person. Flirting is all about titillation and fantasy and while there is certainly nothing wrong with fantasizing, when you engage in it with another living breathing person (as opposed to a book, a film or your trusty night table goody drawer) I think that's when you dip your toe into the pool of maybe. This world of maybe includes; well maybe I'll just smile at this person, well maybe I'll just bat my eyes and brush against this person's hand. Maybe I'll just go out for a casual drink with this person. Maybe I'll just let this person sit really close to me and brush away a piece of my hair from my forehead. You see, these maybes can lead to behaviors that at the outset seem harmless, simply a verbal repartee and non verbal gestures, but they hold the possibility for developing into much more, and really if you are married, why would you tempt fate?
Why would you perch yourself so precariously close to the edge of a cliff and *hope* you don't slip and fall over into the abyss of infidelity. I know- you may say- oh Melissa, you are being such a drama queen! A little flirting never hurt anyone, it's good for the ego, and that rush you get well as long as you are bringing home all those aroused feelings to your spouse, it's a win-wn for everyone. And while I agree that flirting is good for the soul, it's no good for your marriage.