Should a Grown Man Still Call His Mother, "Mommy"?
I'm not the type to get all caught up into gender roles. And I love a man who loves his mother. Really I do. But there are some things that a grown man, particularly a 40-plus year old man, just should not do.
For example, I’ve been dating this guy who insists on calling his mother, “Mommy” - like all the time. As in, "Can I call you back, I have to call my Mommy." Or, "I will pick you up after I drop off my Mommy" (these are actuals).
Of course, at times I call my mom, “Mommy” when I am speaking directly to her or when speaking with/to my siblings about her, but I don’t say “Mommy” when speaking to other adults who are not my siblings. Nor would I talk to a peer/romantic interest or business associate using the word, Mommy.
I’m sorry it just doesn’t sound right. It sounds retarded. Not in the politically incorrect sense, but in emotionally retarded - slow in maturity. And I’ve dated some mama’s boys in my day. I even married and divorced one, but even THOSE men didn’t call their mother, “Mommy.”
Loving your mom is one thing, but having some pseudo-Oedipal complex or need to use childhood names is a little scary. Sure, a baby says Mama and Dada, but after a certain age that is no longer cool. There’s a natural progression to what we call our own parents and I believe the age expiration for using “Mommy” when speaking to non-siblings is somewhere around 18. I will give you 21. Barely. I can’t even get my tween to call me Mommy anymore.
I don't want to come off as a shallow individual, but this is really weirding me out and reaching potential deal breaker status. Mostly because, any man who still calls his mother, “Mommy” to a romantic interest is either sending a subliminal message about her priority in his life..i.e. there is no place for me, or he’s just got serious issues. Either way, I’m totally turned off.
How can I ever compete with his “Mommy”? Well I can’t, and I won’t.
Is this classic mama’s boy behavior or a real deal breaker? Has anyone out there encountered something like this?