The Importance of Complimenting Your Spouse
“The compliment that helps us on our way is not the one that is shut up in the mind, but the one that is spoken out.”
I was walking the dog to the bus stop, the kids had run ahead, and Billy turned to me and said,
“I can’t believe I get to have such a good-looking wife. You look really pretty today.”
Wow. O.K. (Think quick! Say “thanks!“) I’m pretty sure I blushed, and I’m not the blushing type.
What a morning!!! Yippee!!! He likes me!!!
While I always HOPE my husband finds me attractive, HEARING that he does is something else entirely. It’s magical!
This compliment zinger came during the first week of school, almost 9 months ago, and although I can’t tell you anything else about that day, I remember exactly how his comment made me feel.
How easy it is to forget that a little bit of effort to speak a couple of sentences can make a difference to your spouse. Why don’t we ALWAYS say nice things? Are we…
- Too proud (How cheesy!)
- Too tired (zzzzzz)
- Too lazy (Maybe tomorrow…)
- Too preoccupied (What? Am I married?)
- Too dismissive (He/She knows I love him/her!)
or, are we simply out of practice?
When was the last time you intentionally squared up and complimented your spouse? When have you looked them in the eye, shot them a text message, or left them a note letting them know something you appreciate about them?
If you’re really out of practice, you may want a reminder on structure, so here goes!
1. Make eye contact, or enter the phone number, or start the note by saying…
2. Subject: “Hey Sweetie” (or any other name, so long as your spouse knows you’re referring to them!)
3. Personal Pronoun: “I”
4. Verb: “admire/respect/appreciate”
5. Pronoun: “your”
7. Closing: “Thanks”
Alternatively, just tell your spouse that you think they are hot – that works too!
Trust me, you’ll make their day and make a deposit in your marriage. It’s that easy!
What are you waiting for? Do it now!