To Friend or Not to Friend An Ex on Facebook?
Some might say my husband was my rebound relationship as I met him about a month after breaking things off with a man who just wasn’t right for me. And while he wasn’t right for me, we were together for a long time and it took me a while to get him out of my system. Regardless, when I met my husband, I instantly knew he was the man I would marry. We were engaged after four months and “Mr. Wrong” was completely out of the picture…until Facebook came along.
There is something so…naughty about reconnecting with exes on Facebook; getting that opportunity to see how they fared without you, seeing what they look like and yes, sometimes to even confirm that you are better off without them. It all begins with a friend request. A few casual comments here and there can’t hurt, can they? In my case, the comments quickly turned into provocative and personal questions about my marriage and then ultimately a request to meet for drinks. Long story short, I “un-friended” him, FAST.
Nothing good came out of my Facebook friendship with my ex, but I know plenty of women who remain friends online AND offline with their former beaus. So much so that they go on double dates together with their new respective love interests.
What about you – are for or against being friends with an ex on Facebook? I surveyed some friends on the topic and here’s what they had to say:
Jordana Horn Gordon: Sure, why not. We weren't right for each other but that doesn't make them bad people!
Estelle Sobel Erasmus: I would never do it. For one, my hubby would hate it. Two, I know of two situations where couples got divorced because one of them got in touch with an ex at a high school reunion and ended up emotionally and then physically leaving the marriage. I have turned down FB requests from guys I used to date for that reason as well.
Devorah Katz I would be less worried about exes on FB and more worried about social networking your spouse may not be so open about.Yikes....I sound like a conspiracy theorist!
Lee Reyes-Fournier: It depends on what your spouse thinks. If your spouse is uncomfortable then I would say "absolutely no!" If your spouse doesn't care either way I would say "absolutely no!" Insecurity is a weird thing that ebbs and flows. One day you are hot stuff the next you feel like a sloth. I always advise not to give your spouse any reason to doubt you and if the only reason to have an ex as a friend in a social media platform is to have another friend, you can do without. Your marriage is much more important.