On Why I Have Very Few Friends
I often joke with my fiance' that I have no friends. And while I joke, it's kind of true. It's not that I'm not super friendly, fun to hang out with and so forth (and clearly I am incredibly modest) - it's just that I have a whole bunch of stuff going on in my life and I'm pretty terrible at juggling. I have a lot of priorties - first and foremost my family, secondly my job - where most of my available energy is directed. What is left over goes to selfish endeavors - like unplugging and reading a frivolous fiction book or watching trashy vamp TV. I feel completely warranted in spending time on these things because I feel like I spend the rest of my time taking care of everyone else.
So it boils down to this. I might think you're really cool. I might even want to be your friend. But at the end of the day, if you're the kind of girl that wants the traditional friendship, I'm probably going to have to break up with you.
As a woman, I find that my biggest barrier to friendship is the fact that I don't have a lot of time to spend chatting. Potential girlfriends want to talk on the phone, text message daily, meet up for lunch, go have pedicures, etc. I'm terrible at talking on the phone, returning phone calls or even listening to voicemails. As a matter of fact, I currently have 40 outstanding voicemail messages on my phone. If you call me, the odds are that I am not going to answer the phone. I don't enjoy the phone and it makes me anxious - mostly because I always have a million things I need to be doing and if I'm not going to do anything, I'd rather be taking a bath or reading a book - NOT using those precious minutes to make idle chit chat on the phone. So a potential girlfriend will leave a message and I'll probably forget to call back. It makes for a really bad pattern and not a lot of friendships.
This may all make me sound like a terrible person, but I'm really not. I just need the right kind of girlfriend. My very best friend in the world has been my friend since we were sophomores in high school. We talk maybe 4 to 5 times a year now. I check on her, on her kids, on her hubby, and she does the same. We say hi through Facebook messages and every now and then have a nice 1 hour chat on the phone (which I enjoy every second of). We have managed to stay very close - I trust her with every bit of me, and with the well-being of my children. We pick up right where we left off every time I call. She never gets ticked off if she can't reach me - she just tries again later. She never badmouths me, she just gets me. I know that we will be friends for a lifetime.
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