I'm Gaga For Roseanne's Nuts
Guest post by Melissa Chapman, Married My Sugar Daddy
So what was I doing this past Wednesday night at 9pm/8c you ask? I was LAUGHING my ass off watching Roseanne’s Nuts on Lifetime …like literally laughing so hard that the tears were streaming down my face, and my husband suggested that I put down my food for the remainder of the episode lest I choke to death.
I LOVE that Roseanne speaks her mind. PERIOD. She doesn’t pretend to care or spoonfeed viewers her sanitized version of life, which so many of these pseudo reality shows do. There are no staged cat fights- and no coiffed hairstyles.Did I mention that I LOVE the way she dresses? Bandanas, cowboy hats, flannel shirts, feather earrings, Roseanne literally bares it all- gray hair, age spots, wearing her polka dot apron and glasses, face free of pancake makeup, no botox ( so you can ACTUALLY see her expressions) and I LOVE that her and her boyfriend Jonny act like a real couple ( the way my husband and I do) THEY FIGHT- like cats and dogs and then it’s over.
I only got to screen the initial episode- which airs EVERY Wednesday and it such a breath of FRESH AIR….as we follow Miss Barr on her adventure as owner of a macadamia Nut farm and her random utterings like ” Being a farmer is like being married, if I still like this place in a year I’ll stay with it, if I don’t I’ll F*Cking move on.” It’s her crazy utopia- as Roseanne is on a mission to save the island of Hawaii and preserve it’s natural beauty, as well as the entire world- and she is attempting to enlist her eldest son Jake in her mission. Of course Jake is a citizen of LA and thinks his mom’s mission is a little over the top- and just a passing fancy. But even the relationship between her and Jake- well it also speaks to me… it’s the same relationship I have with my mother.
And then there’s the issue of outsmarting the wild pigs on her farm–Roseanne- who is so used to having her way- simply cannot get a handle on this pig probem, and she doesn’t want them to, “Eat her grandkids when they cme over.” Yet when they fnally catch the pigs and are ready to euthanize them- Roseamnne- who is really just a big mush inside, can’t bear to kill them, “I don’t know if I want to kill the pig or not, ” she says. “It’s a huge moral question that I’m not prepared to answer to kill or not to kill, it’s bad karma”. Again another reason I ADORE her.
Roseanne also doesn’t live in this Mcmansion; it’s a quaint farm house, that doesn’t look like a Hollywood sound stage with a fake oven – and get ready for this, you ACTUALLY see her working in the kitchen. Another character in this completely colofrul family is her son-in-law who is determined o kill this pig they’ve caught- because as he says, “part of living on a farm is killing,” yet Roseanne cannot bear to kill this pig. Rosanne then attempts a psychic interaction with the pig- and hopes she can send a message to the pig- with her mental powers and focus as she says ”Pig do not return here and tell all your kind not to return or granny will get mad.”
And then she lets the pig go! I LOVE that Roseanne’s arms are also not hidden; flab, flesh and all, and that just like me and my husband- Roseanne and Jonny bicker wildly, yet can laugh it off, because they get that being in a relationship YOU need to have humor, and lots of it- or you just won’t survive.
Bottom line: I am HOOKED and have screened the first show a cool three times… wanted to make sure I didn’t miss any of the jokes and quips, Roseanne manages to throw our, they’re like nuggets of gold. I feel like a kid in a candy store– I can’t wait for my next installment of more fun on the farm with Roseanne’s Nuts Wednesdays at 9pm/8c on Lifetime !