Roseanne is Not NUTS; Just Honest

Guest post by Melissa Chapman, www.marriedmysugardaddy.com

 

 

Throughout my writing career I’ve been on many a celebrity conference call, especially those carefully crafted one -on -one interviews where you are  triple pre-screened before you are even allowed to  physically touch a phone that might get you access to a celebrity’s pseudo personal life. Why do I say pseudo- because in this celebrity driven society we live in- so many have large pr firms crafting their clients’ public personas. So, for the most part, even if you manage to get on a call with said celebrity chances are you’re getting the sanitized, tightly lipped version, who is just a mere shadow of their authentic real, self.

 

Well I can honestly say, there was nothing staged or artificial at all on the conference call I was privy to with Roseanne. In fact, I think a few of her responses actually caught the moderator off guard and were met with some nervous laughter. Personally I gleefully soaked up every minute of it. I thought she was refreshing and didn’t mince words especially when a question seemed slightly absurd- she called out the reporter and didn’t have any hard and fast agenda. And this is just one of many reasons why I adore her show Roseanne’s Nuts although she claims it’s staged reality, “It’s meant to amuse, entertain and perhaps, help Americans get a better look at the plight of our farmers.” 

 

Roseanne’s got a way of delivering her messages in a unique, you don’t feel like they’re being forced down your throat and that’s why you’re more receptive to them, type of way. Oh and her show- well, it’s a pee-in-your pants good time- and even though she says, its manufactured reality I’d like to believe if I could be a fly on her wall for the day- the Roseanne I’d meet would be just like the one on Roseanne’s Nuts- lovable, loony and a mother who adores her kids.

 

Keep reading to find out what really makes Roseanne… oh and in case you didn’t know, Rosanne is running for the presidency in 2012!

Roseanne's Nuts airs Wednesdays at 9 pm/8c on Lifetime. To watch full episodes online click here.

 

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Q: What compelled you to make a life in Hawaii and open a Macadamia Nut Farm?

Roseanne: Because I had something to say and I just wanted to.

 

 

Q: What was involved in making it happen- did the network reach out to you- or you to them?  

Roseanne: I have no idea.

 

 

Q: In episode one there was a wardrobe malfunction; where it appeared you were going commando, if so is that true?  

Roseanne: Actually that made me mad and I tried to make them take it out. I had black shorts on which rode up into the folds of my fat and made me look like I had no underwear on. But they convinced me that it was funny- and that I should leave it in. But really I had linen short pants on. But thanks for your interest in my crotch.

 

 

Q: What made you decide to buy a farm on TV?  

Roseanne: I had to do something to fight back against what America is doing to its farmers and join a righteous cause. Americans should know about food and what’s being presented to them because I’m running for the president of US.

 

 

Q: What do you hope your show will do for people personally?  

Roseanne: I hope it blows up everyone’s programming and scrambles their core down to their DNA.

 

Q: What do you get from living in Hawaii?  

Roseanne: A great sense of community and an understanding of the difficult life organic farmers have to contend with when trying to build their farms. And that’s what I’m doing in the background of the stupid stuff you see on screen, there’s an incredible method to my madness.

 

 

Q: So how much of a problem are these wild pigs?  

Roseanne: I’ve had my grandson pee on things, put human hair different places…nothing works.

 

Q: You’ve been a political bolt of nature- why go back to TV when you’re political force of nature?  

Roseanne: Because I realize that I have to do a reality show to run for pres of these united states and that’s my goal- and I’m running for President in 2012 and I will represent you properly and for $250 K per year I’m your president.

 

 

Q: You have a real following on twitter. How has joining social networking been for you?  

Roseanne: I’ve done it on and off for many years- I do it for a while till I get too addicted to it and run from it. This is my third twitter experience and I'm enjoying it so far.

 

 

Q: Are you still close with all your children?  

Roseanne: You’ve got to be kidding me with a question like that- I’m very close with all my children-I’m just like that.

 

 

Q: What do you hope your fans get from this show?  

Roseanne: I love you all so much and really appreciate your support and hope you’ll all get some real good laughs off this stuff.

 

 

Q: What’s Jake's role in the show and do we see your grandkids?

Roseanne: His role is as my son-and yes you’ll be seeing the grandkids- I have five kids ages 16, 33, 34, 36, 40 and my grandkids are all under age of 11. There’s five of them, but I can't remember how old they are and their names.

 

Q: Most of us consider your life as similar to your role on Roseanne - is this the case?  

Roseanne: YES.

 

Q: Did you ever think you’d inspire so many women to go into comedy?

Roseanne: I did, I was really excited to be able to do it too. IT WAS pretty COOL.

 

 

Q: What is next on your bucket list?  

Roseanne: Porn.

 

 

Q: You look amazing these days- can you walk around and not get totally recognized?

Roseanne. No, people say hi to me.

 

Q: What would you do if you saw Casey Anthony on the big island?  

Roseanne: Don’t get me started.

 

 

Q: How did you meet Jonny?  

Roseanne: I met him through the internet on my website-www.roseannesworld.com it’s a great dating place- so many people have met there and fallen in love- and I’ve actually made many matches there.

 

 

Q: Who makes you laugh hard these days?  

Roseanne: My family makes me laugh more than anyone.

 

Q: Are there any other female comedians whom you consider friends and who inspire you?  

Roseanne: I had Phyllis Diller and Sandra Bernhard on Roseanne’s Nuts and consider them intense trail blazers I’m good friends with both of them.

 

 

Q: How has your relationship with Jonny held up- do you think it’s immune to the reality show curse?  

Roseanne: I might break up with Jonny over the show Jonny is really pissing me off!

 

Q: I love the relationship you have with Jonny- it feels so natural and honest- you fight , you get it out and then it’s over. Please don’t say you’re breaking up!  

Roseanne: I’m so glad to hear you say that- The truth of it- is Jonny and I are having a blast inventing all this stuff on TV.

 

 

Q: So what about sex?  

Roseanne: I’m kind of over the sex- hon. We still do our thing every now and again- but we like to have a life with our chickens and goats.

 

 

Q: Is it refreshing to be yourself as opposed to the character?  

Roseanne: This is a fake version of myself- because it’s reality television let’s not think this show is reality- god help us if we do. Hopefully it’s good comedic TV making people laugh- I just love doing it. On the mother’s day show I get to hit my son in the head like five good shots and that was a great mother’s day.

 

Q: Was it hard to get in front of the cameras again?  

Roseanne: I was ready. I wanted to do some comedy and was happy to do it. It was fun to work again; it was a radical fun experience.

 

 

Q: What was going on in your mind when you sang the national anthem on your show?

Roseanne: Nothing was going through my mind except for the song- I loved it.

 

Q: How is the surfing coming along-?  

Roseanne: I’ve only done it once I really liked it having half naked gorgeous men- how could I not like it.

 

 

Q: What was it like in Hawaii when there was a threat that a tsunami would hit?  

Roseanne: It’s scary sometimes over there- but all the neighbors pitch in and help each other. I’ve been out of that kind of community for a long time and it helped me remember that Americans are a really helpful community based people especially in hard times.

 

 

Q: Are you sleeping better with the sleep apnea mask on?  

Roseanne: I can’t figure that damn thing out- I’m going to try to take a class in the fall.

 

 

Q: What is the best parenting advice you’ve ever gotten or given?  

Roseanne: Leave your kids alone- get off their backs with all your crap. They already know everything. A kid already knows everything they’re going to know and will find its way without your coaching, shaping and criticism. Remember they’re a human being!