When Sisters-in-Law Attack

When I was married, I was blessed with a very sweet mother-in-law. I still call her Mom. But when you marry the youngest of seven children and the prized baby brother of four older sisters, it’s usually the big sisters that give you the grief.

 

At least that was my story. I’ll spare you the small details of snubs, rude comments and typical mean girl behavior and get to the heart of the matter—the ex-girlfriend.

 

She had been a family friend for years and became very close to his sisters throughout the many years that he dated this woman off and on. Since they had dated so long and from a young age, it was clear that even though they broke up several months before I met him, everyone in the family assumed that eventually this would be their sister-in-law.

 

Until I came along.

 

It’s not my fault that I’m so darn charming and very cute.  I’m a pretty impressive package. So when we started dating and later married after a relatively short time compared to his time with his ex, let’s just say the sisters (and one in particular) were not ecstatic. The ex was beside herself. We eloped in Scotland partly in fear of what kind of craziness would take place at an actual wedding.

 

Not one to hide her emotional instability and low self-esteem, after we married, the ex would show up at our home making demands or threatening to harm herself, and for a few weeks there was a rock thrown through the glass pane of our front door at least once a week. As the piece de resistance she stole our car—with the spare key that my husband left at his mother’s house. And she did all of these things with the help of a sister-in-law—after all only the family knew where we lived and only his sister knew where he kept the spare key at his mother’s.

 

Things came to an ugly head one Sunday at my mother in law’s house. We always went there for Sunday family dinner and it was just that—a night for the family to be together. Knowing what stress and drama this ex-girlfriend was causing on my life, my marriage and the safety of my young child, my sister-in-law decides to bring the ex-girlfriend to Sunday family dinner.

 

They walk in together, laughing and joking like it’s Christmas. My husband asks his sister, why did she bring her to the house. She launches into a loud diatribe about how the ex has more right to be at the family dinner then I do and how she’s been in this family for years…blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, the ex-girlfriend is screaming about how badly she’s been wronged.

 

I’m sitting there quiet.

 

Throughout this whole mess, I have refused to stoop to either of their levels. I don’t do ghetto. She wanted what I had and that was her problem, not mine. And as far as I was concerned, this was my husband’s issue with his family and his past and I expected him to clean it up—and fast!! (P.S. He wasn’t very good at that. Red flag number one.)

 

But at the end of the day, I’m from Queens, New York. And I let people know that they should not assume that my Ivy League education means that I don’t know how to stand up for myself against idiots, bullies and other riff raff.

 

I was perfectly happy to let this nonsense continue, while I sipped on my wine in oblivion to the foolishness surrounding me, until my sister-in-law came over to me and started screaming and pointing directly into my face.

 

Cue *needle scratching across record.*

 

I really don’t remember getting up out of my seat (blame it on the Merlot). Really I don’t. But suffice it to say, I lost it. I’ll spare you the details of the verbal beating I unleashed that day. But I will say this, after they saw what I was capable of, my sister in law and the ex never messed with me again.

 

The in-law lesson in all of this: Sometimes you have to take the high road to keep the family peace. But sometimes, crazy only understands crazy.    

 

For more in-law drama tune in to the new A&E real-life series "Monster In-Laws" Mondays at 10p/9c. Premieres October 24.

 

Enter the Monster In-Laws Sweepstakes for a chance win a session with the show’s relationship expert Mel Robbins, NCredible N'tune headphones by Monster  (to tune out your monster in-law), and Monster In-Laws Survival Kit: $50 The Body Shop gift card, bathing salts, and body massager!