The Client List
12 Things You Must Do Before You Have a Baby
With the new season of The Client List underway, I started thinking about my own list. No, I don't have a client list but I do have a different kind of list. A list of all the things you should do before you have a baby. Before you are even pregnant. And I'm not talking about starting prenatal vitamins. I'm talking about the stuff you should do while you are living your carefree life and not appreciating that you can go to the bathroom without a toddler trying to dismantle the door in an attempt to get in there with you.
So here is what you should do before you even think about having a baby:
- Go out to long brunches with lots of champagne. Take a nap afterward.
- Spend a whole day walking around in your bikini and looking at yourself in the mirror because your pre-baby body looks kick ass and amazing.
- Think of the one place you absolutely want to go and take a trip there. The farther away the better. I've never been to Australia. I have four kids. These things are very related.
- Learn how to fold a fitted mattress sheet instead of rolling it into a ball. Folding skills will come in very handy in your future.
- Clean your house and then marvel at the fact that no one is moving stuff around to the wrong places when you aren't looking. Look lovingly at your beautiful white couch. Take a photo of it so you can remember it in its unblemished glory.
- Kiss your hottest ex-boyfriend one more time. (Oh wait, that's things to do before you exclusively date your soul mate. Never mind. Different list.)
- Sleep in as late as you can every weekend. Do not feel guilty about this. Ever.
- See lots and lots of movies in the theater. Come home and be grateful you don't have to pay a babysitter anything.
- Spend some money on a massage and cool shoes you don't really need. Instead of spending it on a Mandarin Chinese class for your 3-year-old and a way too expensive stroller.
- Go swimming with killer crocodiles or other death defying activities that you have always dreamed of doing. Because you can't swim with killer crocodiles while wearing a Baby Bjorn.
- Make a list of all the things you absolutely love about your husband. Because once you are a parent, there will come a moment in the middle of the night when both of you are screaming at each other because you are so tired and no one wants to get up with the baby and you'll wonder what you ever saw in this man in the first place.
- Get up today and do whatever the hell you want. Just because you can.