5 Annoying Things About Pregnancy That No One Really Talks About
There are as many websites and books devoted to pregnancy as there are shades of gray—which is to say, a lot. And yet, there are some pregnancy issues no one seems to have really addressed, or even 'fessed up to.
Here's where I come in. As I enter my third trimester (my second daughter is due at the end of July), these issues have come to the forefront of my mind (if not my body) and I feel bump-bound to make them better known because after the obvious things like morning sickness, the fatigue and the weight gain, sometimes it's these "little" woes that can really bring you down.
1. Before pregnancy you probably spilled a lot of stuff, but you just didn't notice. Once you're pregnant, every errant droplet is immediately noticed because it lands, like a bulls-eye, right on your belly or boobs. Coffee drips, sauce splatters, cracker crumbs, even tooth brushing spray—it all ends up marking your torso or even jammed in your bra. I really think that once you lose the, oh, 6-12 inches of clearance in your front, it's mayhem. You're not more clumsy when pregnant, you simply can't get away with any spills. What once hit the floor now is hitting you.
2. You'll be seeing red. Everyone talks about how you can be stuffed up for the whole nine months, due to increased nasal congestion, etc. ("Pregnancy Rhinitis" it's actually called.) But what about the bloody noses? Granted, I was prone to gushers before pregnancy, but now, I can't wipe my nose in a meeting or on the subway without first checking to make sure it's not bright red. Blood freaks people out, though—so discretion is a must.
3. That is, if you can see at all. Hey, don't worry about your skin breaking out or your butt getting crazy-big, because chances are, you won't be able to see either. Why? Because "vision changes" are also common. What that means? Oh just that you can spend 40 weeks with the feeling that your contact lenses are tormenting your eyes, that things are slightly blurry, and that you need to sleep with eye drops clutched in your fist.
4. Veins. Down there.
I'm not going to get too gruesome about this, but suffice it to say—the area we rely on to have such fabulous blood flow, so that it can produce such lovely sexual sensations, there are a lot of veins heading that direction. Veins that can get mighty pissed off at all the weight bearing down from above. Just be happy that at least after about the 5th or 6th month you can't really see anything south of the navel anymore. The solution for this "battle of the bulge," so to speak? Not much. They do sell these crazy looking crotch-support contraptions, but they look sort of... medieval.
5. You cannot—and you won't—bank sleep before baby comes. In a way, this is not that surprising, given how sleep works. But given how often people admonish a pregnant woman to "get some sleep now, while you can", you'd think that one could just hoard shut-eye and be done with it. Nope. And in my case, I find that as the pregnancy come to a close, I get MORE sleep deprived, as nighttime discomfort (aching everything), frequent bathroom-visit wake-ups, and rather cruel, totally unexplained bouts of insomnia chip away at my ZZZs.