Being Someone's Role Model is Harder Than it Looks
As the kids get older, I find myself watching my steps more and more. It’s hard enough for me to behave myself every day but when I have four sets of eyes watching my every move, the task becomes ten times harder.
It’s not like I go through my day being a horrible person with completely loose morals. But I have my bad days where a few curse words might fly from my mouth, a bit of road rage escapes me or I just in general lose my patience.
It’s those days that I wish for a do-over. Not so much for me but for my kids. Those are not my shining moments and even though I’m human, I am consciously aware that I am setting the tone for the kinds of adults that they will become. Now I don’t want a bunch of foul-mouthed, rude, mean-spirited spawn running into the future. So I find that when the moments of poor judgment crop up, I take the time to try to talk to my kids about my actions.
This doesn’t mean I excuse my behavior. Quite the contrary actually. I work hard to talk to my kids about acceptable behavior and attitudes and that mom is wrong sometimes… especially when she’s behaving badly.
It lets my kids know that even though mom might seem perfect (I mean we are right?), we do make mistakes from time to time. We say things we shouldn’t and do things that might be wrong. It’s not a matter of “do as I say and not as I do”, it’s a matter of taking ownership for your bad behavior and using that moment of ownership to teach your kids a lesson in proper manners, respect, or whatever you lose your cool with.
We as parents are allowed to make mistakes. I don’t think that our humanness is an excuse to behave badly, but whenever we find ourselves in a situation where we could go with our gut reaction and do or say something we’ll regret later, it's in our best interest and our children's to keep the storm at bay and hold off on losing our cool.
We always remember that we’re human. That’s what makes us unique and special. It’s remembering that we are role models for other people that seems to be the hard part. It’s the conscious effort to hold ourselves to better standards than the people around us. It’s our ability as role models for our children to see our errors and correct them quickly because even though we do make mistakes, we don’t want our children mimicking those behaviors.
Would you agree?
We try extremely hard to avoid making mistakes so that our children have a good role model but how do you handle it when your children bear witness to one of your mistakes?