The Case for Getting Married --Before You Have a Baby
I have several friends who are single parents and I honestly don’t think there is a more challenging job on the planet.
I am amazed at the sheer resilience of my friends who work full-time jobs, rush to get their kids from the baby sitter and then “single-handedly” juggle dinner, homework, baths, millions of inquisitive questions without another adult to play pass the kid with, or to comfort them if they lose it and scream. I’m not a single parent—but if I was I think I’d need a Starbuck’s IV drip just to stay in the game and manage all aspects of my kids and their ever increasing needs and demands. I’m in awe of single parents, who not only bring home the bacon but also do homework, cook dinners, get their kids to extra-curricular activities and after all that work, and are still standing!
While my husband is off at his Chandler-esque job (I phrase it as such because just like the character Chandler on Friends- I’m not quite sure what the hell he does) I am left holding the ball—no manny /or nanny at my disposal and two kids who have not yet mastered the fine art of fixing me an evening cocktail. I have to be honest, I am tired and want to get off this chore treadmill… and it’s only been 48 hours.
I have a completely new found respect for single mothers, who manage to make this balancing act look doable and even bearable.
My temporary single mother situation has also made me acutely aware of the fact that this parenting thing, at least in my opinion is truly a two person job. It's a tag-team endeavor-- and for that reason alone it makes a good case for getting married and having a partner before one decides to have a baby. And if you happen to be in a committed and healthy relationship with your spouse, and are modeling that for your kids, well heck that's just the icing on the proverbial cake!
While I had visions of stretching out in my queen sized bed—by one am I had two kids in my shoving their way in, and a Shih Tzu sleeping on my head. And I’m missing my husband… and his ability to get the kids up and out of the house within an hour. With this 48-hour absence I’ve realized that he is truly the ying to my yang, he’s the one who walks the dog in the frigid temps, so lovingly takes out the trash, and always has the coffee ready. Sure he is in bed by 8pm, with the covers pulled up to his chin, but that’s for another post. And this morning when my ten year old remarked, “you don’t do morning as good as daddy, and I think you need to practice more,” and then when my son chimed in with, “I want pancakes for breakfast tomorrow mommy, I know you can’t make them like Daddy, but maybe you can try?!” I realized that I need to go out and get a box of Hungry Jack pancake mix...