Should 11-Year-Olds Be Singing Adele? Grammy Ad Was All Wrong
I'm not a fan of those co-dependent anthems. You know the Celine Dion I can't breathe without you songs. Oh please. And I'm not a fan of that "I don't like your girlfriend" Avril Lavigne ditty or even Taylor Swift's "You Belong To Me" either (sorry America's sweetheart)--there's something about young girls singing about putting another woman down over a guy that doesn't sit well with me. In my opinion, it sends a wrong message about relationships and female kind friendships when girls are singing about fighting over boys at 10.
Rounding out my list of songs tween girls can do without, are those pain and anguish love songs--I don't want my daughter to learn that love is pain. Its not supposed to be, people. I learned this lesson myself after two divorces. I'm hoping my daughter has a much shorter learning curve.
That's why I have a real problem with the popular ad that aired during the Grammy's showing an 11-year old girl and her friends on a bus singing Adele's Rolling in the Deep. The young girl from Staten Island, New York, became an Internet sensation after a YouTube video of her school choir's version of the song went viral.
Don't get me wrong that little girl can SANG! And I love the song. For me to listen to. But what do 11-year olds know about "the deep"? What should they know? And why are they singing these songs in school?
Here's a sampling of lyrics:
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all The scars of your love, they leave me breathless I can't help feeling We could have it all (You're gonna wish you never had met me) Rolling in the deep (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) You had my heart inside your hand (You're gonna wish you never had met me) And you played it, to the beat (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one on you
And I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair Make a home down there As mine sure won't be shared
Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for Turn my sorrow into treasured gold You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown
While I can appreciate the empowering, you'll regret this later-tone, (having spent days with Beyonce's Irreplaceable on repeat during my divorce...To the left, to the left!!) when girls learn from a young age that love is painful, disappointing and to be followed by vengeance this becomes their idea of normal. This is what relationships must be like if everyone sings about them in that way, they gather. So when they are being caused pain, verbally, mentally or God forbid, physically, the pop culture has said this is par for the course of love.
This is what you endure for love.
No, thank you.
I told my daughter she has little to be anguished about at 11. And that any love that causes you pain is not real love. And that any love that doesn't respect your mind, your body and your values is not even close to love. Can we get more 12-year-olds singing that song please?