Should Bobby Brown Have Been Accommodated at Whitney's Funeral?
I've always told friends who have had starter marriages which ended in divorce that ultimately cutting their losses and moving on was best in the long run. When you get married, and you realize your personalities don't gel- if you don't have kids, you can virtually erase the marriage and start fresh. There are no ties that bind you to one another, you can simply walk out of each others lives. But if you have kids with someone, barring that said person is not a deadbeat parent and actually wants to see their offspring, chances are the two of you will be inextricably linked for the rest of your lives. Which brings me to Bobby Brown and the late Whitney Houston.
We all know that Whitney and Bobby had a tumultuous marriage and there's speculation that Bobby's bad boy drug and rock star style life was the culprit for Whitney's drug induced downward spiral. But here's the bottom line; they have a daughter together. And that daughter, Bobbi Kristina, will forever link them to one another, even in death. Which brings me to this weekend and all the brouhaha about Bobby Brown who reportedly arrived at Houston's funeral only to leave before the service got underway.
Apparently Brown felt he was disrespected, by not having had seating made available to him and his entourage, aka his brood of kids with other baby mamas. But here's my feeling. Regardless of what went on in his and Whitney's relationship, they share one very special and intimate thing, their daughter, who was also in attendance at this funeral. Out of deference for his daughter and the fact that he and Whitney parented and created this child, should Bobby have been accommodated at Whitney's funeral? I guess the real questions is when a couple divorces, in both life and death, should they continue to do things as a family because they share custody of their most precious of commodities- their kids?
I think divorce, no matter how you slice it, is messy and full of anger. If anger wasn't a part of the equation and if there was a way to diffuse it, the marriage would likely not be ending in divorce. I'll be honest, if I was in Whitney's immediate familial circle - I'd harbor resentment towards Brown, and would not feel it necessary to accommodate him and take his feelings into consideration. On the flip side; this is the tricky part of getting divorced when you have kids together. On the one hand, you despise this person, and your family probably feels in kind. But what about the child you share, who also shares this despised parent's DNA? How do you reconcile honoring the parent of your child when you are divorced? In the case of Bobbi Kristina- do you think she would have been better served (as would any child mourning the death of her mother) to be able to take comfort in her surviving parent's arms, that of Bobby Brown, during her mother's funeral? And if so, was the funeral director and family in the wrong by not making it their business to find a way to accommodate Bobby Brown?
Ultimately, in the face of divorce, should both parents and families always work together to do what's in the best interest of the child?