Should You Tell People You're Trying for a Baby?
Over the last week and a half, I've found out that 6 of my friends are pregnant. Funny thing is... I only knew that 2 of them were trying. The other 4 kept it a "secret." I say "secret" like that because even though I had a feeling that they were trying, they didn't want anyone to know. I get that and I can respect that.
But... it made me think - Should you tell people you're trying for a baby?
When I was trying to get pregnant with William back in 2003 I told everyone and anyone. I remember Matt feeling so embarrassed that everyone knew. I mean, everyone at work knew my freaking ovulation cycle, I was that open. I remember him saying to me, "Why do you want everyone knowing?"
For me, it was pretty much for a few reasons:
1) I wanted their support.
2) I always welcomed extra positive baby vibes.
3) I just kind of figured other women liked knowing (there were about 10 of us trying at the same time).
The toughest part about having everyone know (including my whole-gigantic family) was that when it came close to being able to take a test, the phone calls came pouring in... "Are you pregnant?" And I remember in mid-January getting a negative test and feeling so deflated and so depressed, that it was more difficult to deal with telling people I wasn't than it was actually dealing with the fact that I wasn't. Make sense?
And then... ironcially enough, that test was a false negative - so after one week of dealing everyone and making everyone feel like I was "OK" and that we would just keep trying... I found out that I was pregnant! And it was my beautiful William!
So... all this being said. I find myself now thinking, that if we ever wanted to try again, I wouldn't tell a soul. OK... maybe I'd tell my best friend and my mom, but other than that... nobody. When my friends told me they were pregnant this past week and a half, the only logical question they asked me was, "Do you think you and Matt will ever have another?"
Truthfully... I don't know. It's not a yes. It's not a no. We just don't know. But... I didn't want to tell them a definitive answer. I didn't want to deal with the 100 questions of why we wouldn't or why we would... and believe me, people don't have any marbles in their mouths when it comes to sharing/dispensing their advice as to whether you should or you shouldn't.
Back in 2003 and 2004 and 2005 and 2006 and 2007... I was ALL about that you should tell people you're trying for another baby. I was all about thinking that the extra added prayers and thoughts and vibes were a good thing. And I do still believe that, there's nothing wrong with people wishing and hoping for you... it's actually very special.
But... if we were wanted to try again... in 2012, I would keep it a sacred secret. I don't know if it's people's business to know. I certainly wouldn't put it out on my blog. I guess I just wouldn't want to open myself up to anyone's opinion that I'm not seeking... and I've seen that happen so much lately and it makes me sad.
It's a baby. A beautiful baby... and it's something so beyond special and precious, at this stage in my life - I'd want that a special secret between me, myself and a few close others.
What do you think? Should you tell people you're trying for another baby?