Top Five Things Beyoncé, and Every New Mom, Should Know
So Ellie and I were rocking out to Beyoncé’s, Run the World (Girls) in celebration of the baby girl Blue Ivy Carter.
If Beyoncé and I were friends… and we are not…but I so wish we were (I really want to learn both the “Single Ladies” and “Crazy In Love” dance)…
Anyway if we were friends, I would really want to make sure I told Beyoncé a few key things about being a new mom, things I wish I had been told.
#1 The first 12-weeks will be rough…but then it gets easier.
My brother-in-law told me this on week 3, when I looked like I was going to lose my mind. If you are breast-feeding, you will probably be up nearly every 2 hours to breast-feed. Add to that the fact that your body just accomplished one of the most amazing, and amazingly difficult, things it will every do – and you have one tired mama. The good news is, after about 12-weeks, things seem to fall into place – with you and baby.
#2 Breast-feeding….Oh let’s talk about breast-feeding. I have no idea if Beyoncé or any other new mom plans to breast-feed, and frankly, it’s none of my business. But if you are going to, here are my thoughts…
I took the lactation classes at the hospital I was delivering at, and I felt very prepared for the physical difficulties that might come with breast-feeding. However, I felt totally unprepared for the time and planning commitment that came along with exclusive breast-feeding. Here’s what they don’t tell you - if a newborn feeds every two hours, and each feeding takes about 15 minutes, that gives mom about 90 minute windows to get anything done. And you might feel like you can’t get anything other than breast-feeding and diaper changing done in those first few weeks. That’s because you can’t. When I returned to work on week 12, pumping was no walk in the park either. Even though I was up to 4 hours between feedings, it still meant an unbelievable amount of planning. I did manage to keep it up for 9 months…and when I have more children, I plan to do it all over again – but this time I will be able to have a more reasonable expectation of what else I can and cannot get done during my day.
#3 You will become a chronic worrier…and other parents can totally relate.
You may find yourself obsessing about everything from whether or not the baby is pooping enough, to how you will pay for college, and everything in between. And those worries will likely take place during the few minutes that the baby actually is sleeping. A terrible irony. It’s normal. You are not going crazy, but if it all feels like it’s consuming you – ask for help…from a professional, from a loved one, from anyone.
#4 Don’t let those worries rob you of how completely awesome having a new baby is. I’m sad to say it, but I think I could have done a lot better at this one. Being a single mom, I worried enough for Mom and Dad – about 3 sets of them. Some of it was totally necessary and helped me figure out very important details of my new life with Ellie. The rest were ridiculous. Try to separate the needed from the ones that can wait – and push the ones that can wait out of your head.
#5 You’re amazing.
Yes - you Beyoncé - and every mom, new, old, young, married and un-married…are simply amazing. You have now been admitted into an exclusive club of women, who love more than they ever thought, while juggling a million other things. You will never look at another mom the same again.
In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you changed the lyrics of Run the World, to Who Run the World? Moms!