Traveling Mommy Guilt
I don’t guilt easily, which is funny to me considering the name of my blog. But it’s true. My guilt switch must be muted or something. However, every now and then I get walloped with a dose of mommy guilt so hard that it knocks me to my knees.
Right before I went out of town I was preparing the kids for my absence. The older three were ready and probably looking forward to me being gone as much as I was, but the littlest one? He had other ideas.
He wanted desperately to come with me and he was making it known the only way he could; he was guilting me. Every day it was a new slice into my heart, “mom I would like to have a vacation with you,” or “Mom I can help you work while we’re there.” Anything he could say to convince me that I needed him there, he would try it.
At about the same time my husband had knee surgery. The only thing I was feeling bad about was leaving him to fend for himself and care for our four kids. My heart told me that I needed to go out of town and take this trip but it also said that leaving the hubby to handle things on his own was crazy. I’ve never claimed to be sane.
I must have wrestled with the decision to leave eleventeen billion times. When my youngest started in on how much he wanted to go with me, I started to succumb to the guilt like falling into quicksand. It felt like dozens of knives were stabbing me all over. I finally came to the decision that I was going and that everyone, including the youngest, would just have to deal with it but it wouldn’t be easy for him to handle unless he had something else to focus on. That’s when I came up with my brilliant plan.
Since I was already feeling bad about leaving Brian with the kids while he was recovering from surgery, the only semi-sane thing to do was put someone else in charge of his care. There was no way Brian would agree to his mother coming every day to help but what if his caretaker was already here? What if…
When I told Peanut about the job I had for him I was careful to use words like, very important, only you can do it, someone special, trust, and the clincher? Only big boys can do this job.
That was it! He was sold! I had someone to take care of the hubby (again, not claiming sanity by putting the five year old in charge), I could rid myself of the mommy guilt for leaving behind a boy who wanted a vacation and a daddy who was hobbling/chasing down children on his own. It was perfect no?
Yes! Yes it was brilliant! It put my mind at ease (who else is better to tattle on daddy than the five year old) and I could be free to travel guilt free! If nothing else, my creativity at solving the problem is genius, right?
How do you solve your mommy guilt problems? I’d love to have some new tricks to add to my arsenal!