We Know It Sounds Crazy, But It Works For Us
The other day when I picked my daughter up from her preschool, her teacher complimented me on how well-adjusted she is. Of course, I puffed up like a peacock - because while some parents yearn to hear the words smart, capable, or independent, the words that sound like music to my ears are most definitely "well-adjusted".
Why? Well, let's see. My ex-husband and I divorced when she was 2. She doesn't have major memories of that, but we lived with my parents for a while before we moved into our own place. Once we did, I was traveling a good bit - sometimes with her and sometimes while she was with her father - trying to build my career. I met and began dating my now-fiance' through one of my many work opportunities - but of course he lived in California. We traveled there to see him a lot.
And then, back in September, my daughter and I moved to California.
My ex-husband still lives in Louisiana but makes frequent trips out here to see our daughter. When he does, he typically stays in our house with us - he sleeps on our couch. Oh yeah, you read that right. Somebody call Jerry Springer, right? But wait, there's more - my fiance' was actually the one who suggested this bizarre arrangement because it saves my ex-husband money and means he can visit our daughter more frequently.
Tell me I don't have a good man on my hands?
The weirdest part of it all is that most of the time, it doesn't really feel that weird. The other morning I walked into our living room to find my ex-husband reading books to my daughter and my fiance's son. Sometimes we all eat dinner together. Or breakfast. The other day my fiance's ex-wife came over to drop off their son, and introduced us to her new boyfriend and his son - while my ex-husband was on one of his many trips out here. So the 8 of us stood outside chatting - the ex-wife and her boyfriend, the boyfriend's son, my fiance's son, my fiance', myself, my ex-husband, and our daughter. I mean, really, who could have ever seen that moment coming?
In the end, I've learned that what matters the most is learning from your mistakes and moving forward while making it as easy for your kids as possible. I guess "normal" is really whatever you make of it.
So, well-adjusted? Yeah, I'll take that in a heartbeat.
These moms have learned to deal:
- Single Motherhood: Some Things Will Never Be Easy
- Raising Biracial Children In An Increasingly Interratial World
- Letting Go Of The Dream And Building A New One