Would You End it All if You Lost Your child?
I couldn’t help asking myself this same question when I read the sad news of Madonna Badger, a Connecticut mother of three who lost her children and parents in a fire that overtook her house on Christmas morning.
Ms. Badger stated in the funeral for her loved ones, “When I used to hear about people losing a child I would say I could never ever, ever live through losing my babies."
Her children were two 7-year-old twin and 10-year-old daughters.
And recently, it seemed that the grief was so deep, and she so truthful to her words that she tried to take her own life.
I am not sure if that fear is one that creeps into the minds of other mothers as often as it does in mine. That’s part of the package, isn’t it? This constant fear of loss, of something going horribly wrong, of something out of our control taking over. As mothers we worry and protect and are cautious - often times beyond measure – fear of the slightest injury to our children.
I recently told a friend that the happiness of my own life sometimes makes me fearful of that dreadful ball dropping. Often times, if I think of it, I speak it away with a forceful, “No!” It is that unbearable to even think about.
When my mother passed I felt the world beneath me crumble, but as I cried and gave in to my grief, I remember that the only thing that held me up and do till this day are my children. What this mother is going through is unfathomable to me.
My heart goes out to her. I pray that she finds peace some how. I can’t think of a sorrow greater.
I know mothers who have lost a child and live on, strong and even with an ability to some how find a reason to smile again. It is not something I will ever understand, but I am always in admiration of.
Even still, I don’t know what I would do if it were me. I don’t know if I would be strong enough.
Do any of us really know?
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