Countdown to Kindergarten: Wine, Don't Fail Me Now
In just a few days, my son, my little, sweet boy who I could swear, was just 7lbs 5 oz a minute ago, will be starting Kindergarten.
Kindergarten with a capital K for KRAP.
When did he get so old and when did I get so scared?
YES. *I* am the worried one. *I* am the anxious one. Well, the more anxious one, that is. We have been talking about “starting kindergarten in just a few weeks" for a while now. So it's probably not coincidental or crazy (which was my initial concern) that out of nowhere, he told me he was going to "die in just a few weeks." The term "In just a few weeks" stands for CHANGE, LOSS, THE UKNOWN and FEAR.
In my mind, it means that too. Only, I know we're not going to die. I just know I'm going to need a lot of wine leading up to that day. And maybe throughout that day too.
I realize I have a lot of irrational fears in life, but when it comes to my son starting kindergarten, nothing I’m experiencing is unusual.
Right??? Well, here are my top three concerns:
Fear #1: He is too young to start.
My son is a September baby, meaning he turns five in September. The cutoff for starting kindergarten in California is November. So by law, he CAN start kindergarten. But SHOULD he start kindergarten is a whole other debate. While I've been reassured that he's going to be "juuuuuuust fine," from his preschool teachers and family/friends that work in early childhood development, I'm still so nervous that being one of the youngest kids in his class will cause long term problems. I try to tell myself that in the long run, it means nothing... I'm 5 1/2 years older than my boyfriend, and we're okay. We get along.
Fear #2: He's not strong enough.
In truth, from what I can tell, he actually does keep up socially with the older kids. He can banter, he can understand, and he DEFINITELY can Jedi and fight the EFF out of 'em. BUT…he isn’t as skilled on the monkey bars or even the swings as them. He isn’t as fast or as strong as the kids that are well into their fifth year and those that are already six. In fact, he has said, that "the older kids are stronger." But who is to say that in a year from now, he's going to be stronger and faster? That said, when I see him trying to keep up with the kids physically and he can't, my heart melts.
Fear #3: He'll never eat.
At preschool, the teachers kind of kept an eye on what the kids ate at lunch. Not the case in big boy school, right? If I pack a well-rounded lunch, do you think there’s going to be a teacher making sure he has as many cucumber slices as he does crackers? Um, no. He'll probably never even open up his lunch box. In fact, he probably won't even have a sip of water. Which is fine because my next fear is that he'll never go to the bathroom.
OMG. I'm going to have a panic attack right here and right now.
I could go on and on about my fears but tomorrow morning there's a kindergarten parent orientation. Coffee pot is set and Kleenex is in my purse. Too soon to start crying?