Tween and Teenagers
The First Dance: The Quest to Find Cool Clothes for a Teenage Boy
For a while I felt a bit put out by his seeming disregard for all of my hard work in helping him get ready for his first big dance, but then I realized that I had had similar experiences when I was his age and not once gave it a thought that my mother had done the same for me. I remember my mother making my first homecoming dress and all the fussing I did to get ready and in the end it was just another hyped up evening that had no real significance in the long run. Then there were two proms with the fancy dresses, shoes and flowers. What really happened is that the prom was a big flop and both times I was home before my curfew; even though I had permission to stay out later.
My “aaahaa” moment came when I realized that these formal events in our teen lives are supposed to be whatever it is we want them to be. If you want the beautiful gowns, flowers in your hair and dancing the night away then you should do it. But if you want to hang around the punch bowl, eat a few snacks and chill with your friends without a date then you should do that too. We as parents should not force our children to attend these events if they do not want to go. My daughter never went to her prom or homecoming and does not regret that decision. She is however, glad that she was able to help shop for her brother and provide him with a “cool” new suit of clothes to attend his very first dance.
So as we prepare to enter high school in the fall, I will be sure to have a few “cool” things on hand stashed away in the back of my son’s closet just in case he gets the urge to shake his groove thing at the last minute…no more frantic shopping trips for me.